UK COVID INQUIRY:
Former UK prime minister Boris Johnson has appeared for a second day before an official inquiry at which he vigorously defended his actions dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic.
Arriving at the inquiry’s hearing room for his latest day in the witness box (main picture) Mr Johnson told reporters he was still upset that his oversight of the pandemic response while he was in Downing Street had been unfairly maligned by the British media and his UK Labour Party opponents.
“I mean goodness me chaps, and chapettes, people complaining about oversight seem to forget that my management of the virus was a textbook example of oversight,” he said while tap dancing into the room.
As the day’s proceeding started inquiry chair, former UK Court of Appeal judge Baroness Heather Hallett, was forced to direct Mr Johnson to resume his seat in the witness box and to cease trying to organise a conga line from among the many barristers and other counsel present representing deceased COVID patients and their families.
Baroness Hallett then asked Mr Johnson if he wanted to make any opening remarks.
“By jove, do I? Yah, yah, I do old bean,” he replied.
After clearing his throat and taking a sip from a chilled champagne flute an aide had thoughtfully placed in the witness box along with several bottles, Mr Johnson began.
“Like a virus needs a body. As soft tissue feeds on blood. Some day I’ll find you, the urge is here like a mushroom on a tree trunk as the protein transmutates,” he said, reading from a typed sheet of paper.
Baroness Hallett, appearing puzzled, asked Mr Johnson if he could clarify his remarks.
“Yah, yah. Happy to,” he replied before reading again from the sheet he was holding.
“I knock on your skin, and I am in the perfect match, you and me,” he said. “I adapt, contagious. You open up, say welcome….”
At that point Baroness Hallett asked the ex-PM to stop speaking and one of the barristers present rose to inform her that Mr Johnson was simply reciting the lyrics of Virus, a 2011 song by Icelandic performer Bjork.
“That’s it. You’re finished,” Baroness Hallett said to Mr Johnson.
“Righto! Ta, M’Lady,” he said as he rushed to gather his papers and champagne flute before starting to exit the hearing room.
Baroness Hallett then forcefully explained that she meant she wanted him to finish his statement but remain in the witness box for questioning.
Mr Johnson then began shuffling backwards towards the hearing room door while singing God Save the King, prompting all others in the room including Baroness Hallett to stand in silence.
However, after he finished the first verse and began humming the tune because he did not know all of the anthem’s words, Baroness Hallett called the inquiry to order and directed security attendants to grab Mr Johnson and return him to the witness box.
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