Past looms in Bruce’s future

DEFAMATION HEARING LATEST:

SYDNEY: Alleged rapist Bruce Lehrmann has been spotted this morning buying a DMV DeLorean in a used-car yard on Parramatta Road barely 8km from the CBD.

The former Liberal adviser (above) appeared agitated and distressed as he asked staff if the car had a working flux capacitor and sought instructions on how to set the date and location of any intended past destination.

Owner of Shiftem’ Fast Quality Used Vehicles at 2044 Parramatta Road, Stanmore, Sam “Shifty” Norton told The Bug he felt sorry for his celebrity customer.

“To start with, he couldn’t recall why he had come to my lot or indeed who he was. The poor coot said his mind was a blank and could he sit in our reception area for 15 minutes as he tried to think of definitive things to say.

“Luckily I recognise who he was and I gently tried to get him to focus by reminding him of the absolute towelling he got in the Federal Court in the city all day yesterday at the hands of Dr Matt Collins, the barrister for Network Ten.

“That’s when his eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers and said ‘that’s right’.

“It looked like a weight had simply lifted off his shoulders and what’s left of his mind and he said that his four barristers had told him overnight his best option now – considering there was more cross-examination coming on Monday again from Dr Collins and then from Lisa Wilkinson’s counsel who apparently is absolutely brutal – was to return to The Dock Hotel in Canberra about 8.30pm on the 22nd of March in 2019 and start all over again.

“Mr Lehrmann didn’t even haggle with my staffer. He just threw our asking price in cash at us and he’s been sitting in the car ever since muttering something about finding a clock tower.

“I don’t think he’s thought this one all the way through, the stupid cunt.”

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