It’s full of putrid bullshit and I need help!
And, NO! It’s got nothing to do with all the shit I write on it! Thought best I got in early and swotted that one away.
The dreadful trouble I’m in urgently requires the name and number of a top computer nerd/techno plumber? Someone with the specialist training and state-of-the-art equipment including an electric eel that can chew up and suck out all this bullshit that’s swamped my one-and-only computer of recent times.
Someone who can also explain if Google Chrome is at fault and if so, what can I replace it with before the putrid excrement of the likes of Sky News Australia and The Daily Mail makes my online life unbearable and renders me incapable of writing and unloading my daily Bug story to my faithful reader.
Here’s what’s happening. Over recent weeks, often when I click onto a new tab in my Google Chrome, this hideous creature called Microsoft Start opens up. And more often than not the clickbait plugs at the top are for Sky News propaganda. Take this morning’s offering from Paul Murray (at top and below).
Can I be frank? I suspect I’d prefer to have all my finger and toenails pulled out with rusty pliers than have to read or hear the mindless far-right-wing bleatings of that non-journalist moron of an LNP publicist/Rupert Murdoch arselicker.
Ditto, come to think of it, for most of the mainstream mediocre’s columnists, including Parnell Palme McGuinness, Peta Credlin, James Campbell, James Morrow, Janet Albrechtsen, Vikki Campion (I’m assuming Campion is back from her honeymoan and has taken up her poison pen and National Party talking points again), Rita Panahi, Gerard Henderson, etc, fucking etc. Ditto for the Nine radio shockjocks reading out LNP talking points, including Peter Gleeson who will be claiming such comments as his own and if he has used someone else’s thoughts, it would be completely by accident.
Nothing could be worst than any of those clowns. Oh, okay, perhaps being strapped to a chair and forced to listen to the audiobook of Scott Morrison’s upcoming religious tome about how his own particular, money-hungry, God made him the truly awful cunt he is today might be marginally more life-threatening.
Take today’s risible, far-right rubbish from Murray. It takes a certain unskillset to make it look like Albanese has said something that’s come out of the far right field of Murray’s own brain. Regardless of what anyone thinks of Albanese, the PM has declared the cost of living crisis his No1 priority and it’s an absolute nonsense that he would tell voters no more relief is coming. That’s what Murray wants him to say, so why not put the words in his mouth?
The key to understanding Murray’s rantings – well, those of just about everyone at Newscorpse and sadly too many other places as well (read Aunty and the Heralds) – really, is that if you consider all the basic tenets of quality journalism – balance, fairness and accuracy – then expect the exact opposite from Murray and these other coalition-cloying clowns then you won’t be disappointed.
Always bear in mind that the great bulk of this nation’s lamentable MSM is livid that Labor somehow managed to beat arguably the worst feral – sorry, federal – government in this nation’s history despite their worst efforts. They are now doing whatever they can to ensure Albanese is a one-term blunder and that by mid-2025, the LNP – this nation’s natural party of power and God’s coalition of choice when a standalone Liberal win is impossible – is returned to the government benches.
Doubt that? Here’s just a whiff of the putrid bullshit that this dreadful Microsoft Start has been dolloping up in bucketloads over recent times….
Perhaps my laptop doctor – please call soon! – can also explain the relationship between Google Chrome and Microsoft Start?
This pathetic tech luddite thought they were rivals. Either way, it doesn’t seem to make much sense that if Microsoft Start plops – ‘cos that’s what shit does – all over my screen, it tries very hard to get you to use its own search engine BING to venture further online. That, to this very simple mind, doesn’t seem good business practice on GC’s part.
So I await help to have my laptop depooped and advice offered on whether I’ve got to tell Google Chrome that if it can’t stop serving up propaganda that almost makes me ashamed of the half-century plus I’ve spent trying to be a decent and fair journo, then they can go fuck themselves with a rubber hose.
Don Gordon-Brown
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