FEDERAL POLITICS:
Former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce says he will take immediate defamatory action against anyone promulgating a “hurtful and highly offensive” new nickname being pushed on social media over recent times.
Through his Tamworth-based solicitors, No Fee. No Interest. Lawyers, the former National Party leader urged people tempted to use the nickname “to cease and desist immediately or pay a very heavy financial price through the court system”.
The Bug is aware that the nickname Gaza Strip has been trending widely on social media platforms including X and Facebook. Posts explain that Mr Joyce has earned the unfavourable sobriquet because “he’s getting bombed all the time”.
“On-going perpetrators of this disgusting libel should not underestimate our client’s fury over this.
“He’s hammered …. out all the pros and cons and has instructed us to act on his behalf.
“Our client is totally stewed .. sorry, we meant stewing… over the use of this nickname which is clearly meant to inflame disgraceful and defamatory slurs over a long time now that he has a drinking problem of such magnitude that his work representing the good people of New England is being affected.
“Our client has never had a problem drinking. Have you seen the prices at the members’ bar in Parliament? He is staggering … sorry, we meant…. staggered that these hurtful slurs just never seem to end.
“He’s really pissed ….. off about this.”
“He is …. no, can’t think of any more plays on words right now for another cheap shot – did someone say shot! – but having said that, let No Fee. No Interest. Lawyers simply say this….
“… a lesser man – a mere mortal – would probably be so shattered and humiliated and hurt by these shameless, despicable, slurs that he’d need a stiff triple Bundy and coke …. or twelve. And if that wasn’t enough, he’d really then give it a nudge.”
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
The Bug Online 