REALITY TV:
I‘m sorry to be the bearer of really sad news but the current season of Real Housewives of Sydney will be the last – and the Russia-Ukraine and Israel-Hamas wars are largely to blame.
My spies on the set of the third series now being taped in the Emerald City for release in mid 2024 are completely devastated and distraught over the show’s axing even though they themselves have made the hard decision to pull the pin on the series that would likely have shot some of them to 15 seconds of stardom.
And it’s all got to do with the complete drying up of the global supply chains of the three commodities that have made the first two seasons of RHoS such a success – collagen, botox and, of course, silicon breast implants.
Supplies of all three are now virtually non-existent Down Under as a result of those bitter wars in the northern hemisphere and the show’s stars simply could not see a way forward without the two chemical treatments that combine to make them look so young and beautiful and with plump, sexy, lips that are irresistibly kissable, and of course the breast implants that the housewives’ husbands and boyfriends simply can’t resist tit-fucking, if you’ll excuse the French.
When news hit the set that supply lines of all three had dried up and current treatments were wearing off after a few weeks of shooting, many of the stars’ lips trembled uncontrollably although I’m told that might have been an involuntary reaction seeing the word ‘injection’ was mentioned by the bearer of the sad news.
My spies also told me that some of the stars wanted the show to go on and their lips were very pursed, or at least appeared to be, and of course any emotion or attitude that was meant to convey is anyone’s guess.
And one of the better endowed ladies pushed her breasts together to highlight her 25cm-deep and beautifully tanned décolletage and said bluntly: “Why should my chance of international stardom and obscene wealth to match that of my idiot husband be spoiled by the flat-chested bitches I have to work with?”
Another of the show’s stars told me later: “Some people might think we’ve overacted in stopping this project but they need to realise this entire reality TV project is much more than all of us trying our best to come across as vacuous, vain and almost brain-dead stupid.
“We’ve got to look our absolute gorgeous best while doing that.”
Yet another upset star sobbed as she pointed to her beautiful pearl necklace: “Now I won’t be able to show this off. My current husband gave it to me only this morning and it hasn’t dried yet.”
The current – and now final – series of RHoS continues to screen on Binge and Foxtel. Most of the stars of the current series (pictured above and at top) were heavily involved in making themselves look fantastic for the ill-fated series three.
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
The Bug Online 