Police seek Raper lookalike!

POLICE ROUNDS:

Police so far have made little headway in finding the woman who infiltrated the Ten Network newsroom on Sunday afternoon, fooled the station’s 5pm news producers and studio staff and successfully impersonated the network’s political editor Ashleigh Raper in a lengthy to-camera piece.

The station’s senior executives call in the cops after noticing, as one senior staffer put it, “her report on Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s trip to Washington had none of the professionalism and objectivity from her days with the ABC; the admirable traits largely behind the reasons we lured her across to us mid this year.”

The Bug has replayed the Raper segment (at top) and can see why Ten executives were so quick to detect the fraudster.

On air, the Raper ring-in can’t seem to help herself, repeatedly pushing the line that Albanese has been damaged politically by the Voice referendum outcome a week earlier.

With Albanese high over the mid-Pacific on his way to talks and a formal dinner with US president Joe Biden, the Raper lookalike had a clear message for viewers: she has been listening to the great bulk of the nation’s mainstream mediocre keen to boot Albanese from pillar to post over that vote. To that end, she kicked off with …”He’s had a difficult week…”

And another kick in the PM guts: ….”The timing of the trip to Washington does coincide with political turbulence domestically after the referendum was defeated.”

And again! “Is it the best time for the Prime Minister to be leaving Australia after the referendum result last week? Probably not.”

Another executive told us: “We all looked at one another and said almost in unison: ‘Our Ashleigh would never sprout LNP talking points like that!

“The real Ashleigh was just the other day running through the various recent polls that show conclusively that the only person who’s been damaged by the Voice campaign has been Peter Dutton.

“Ashleigh knew all about the Newspoll result on the eve of the vote that had Labor going back out to a 54-46 two-party result and Albanese strengthening his position as preferred PM. Ditto the Resolve Political Monitor poll for the Heralds in the last week that had Labor on 37 per cent primary compared with the LNP on 31 – a drop of three points.

“I remember her distinctly telling us: “The notion that Albanese has lost a lot of bark over this issue is a mainstream mediocre/LNP conspiratorial concoction” and she told us her report on Sunday would be saying exactly that.

“I personally gave her a hug, thinking that’s why we hired her. Thank God there’s one lone voice in all of the nation’s woeful mainstream media who’s prepared to call a spade a spade and concentrate on the dreadful racist dog-whistling and the litany of lies that the No campaign and Peter Dutton resorted to.

“I gave her another hug and she replied: ‘I won’t let you down! And I’ll bet you a $10 scratchie that Sunday’s Newspoll will reaffirm everything I need to say earlier that night!’.

(Editor’s note: she meant this one that clearly shows what a bad last week Albanese had, what with all his domestic woes and everything!)

The network executives launched an immediate search for the real Ashleigh Raper when they were rightly appalled by how the lookalike fraudster finished her report.

The impersonator declared that the Washington trip at least gave Albanese some distance from his “domestic woes” but then added: “The problem with that is that there has been pressure on him to focus on the cost of living crisis facing Australians, especially now with rising fuel prices”.

“Our Ashleigh – the real Ashleigh – would never have been conned by that so-called pressure, knowing full well that it was coming entirely from Peter Dutton and his Opposition front bench and a subservient, lapdog MSM. Their argument is simply a carry-on from one of the No! Campaign’s most disgusting racist dog-whistling acts – that appealed to struggling families – read white – in outer suburbs to punish the PM for ignoring their plight and instead sucking up to the selfish, unfair and decisive demands of First Nations people – read black.

“Our Ashleigh would be mortified to be even remotely associated with the latest, modified, version of that on-going piece of vile rubbish.”

The executive told us that about the same time the police arrived in force, they found the real Ashleigh Raper tied up in a station storeroom, sobbing uncontrollably and totally beside herself.

“Days later, she remains mortified that her TV audience might think she has joined in the great bulk of the mainstream media pushing the LNP’s case that the referendum result is all Albanese’s fault, that the result has damaged Albanese politically, hopefully fatally, and had greatly improved Dutton’s political prospects.

“She’s far too intelligent and far too principled and far, far, too decent to go along with any of that bullshit.”


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