Well, the bitter, washed up old hacks who compile this column are now convinced! Nine Entertainment Co. head honcho Peter Costello must have shares in Costco Wholesalers.
Or at least someone at Nine News Brisbane does!
There can be no other reason – or excuse – for the latest creampuff promotion of the retailer on Nine News’s 6pm bulletin out of Brisbane last night (Thursday).
It began with the lead-in to the bulletin: Costco now selling new cars at big discounts!
Newsreader Melissa Downes before the first ad break then touted the amazing “news” story coming up: “Upgrading your car? Tonight the massive deal taking thousands of dollars off the price tag plus giving you hundreds in grocery discounts. The new way for Queenslanders to save. How to cash in ahead.
Co-news reader Andrew Lofthouse tag-teamed before the next ad break: “How to save thousands on new wheels and slash your grocery bills”.
Lofthouse again before a later ad break. “In just three minutes get a new car for thousands of dollars cheaper. The new massive discount for Queenslanders that comes with hundreds off your groceries. How to cash in. That’s minutes away.”
The Bug’s MGH compilers freely admit that they were on the edge of their seats by the time Lofthouse began his to-camera intro late in the bulletin. “Buying a new car can be a stressful and expensive process. If you’re a member of Costco, it’s all become a lot easier.”
That’s right. The chain had teamed up with a car buying service that’s .. let’s hear it one more time from Lofthouse, folks – “saving you thousands with hundreds off your grocery bill as well.”
Olivena Lathouris’s report began with more than an equal dose of creampuffery. Costco was already “a mecca for all things bulk and budget”.
We quickly had Costco Australian managing director Patrick Noone on camera saying its car-buying service partner had “a range of vehicles available” and “some of the cars on offer had savings of 2000, 3000, 4000 and 5000 dollars”.
Lathouris explained that even Costco customers with the standard $65 membership could access the service, while higher membership levels gave extra bonuses and executive members got shopping discount vouchers as well!
And there it all was on screen, not in black and white, but in full colour! A massive $5010 saving on a 2024 Hyundai Palisade 2.2l diesel engine, seven seater, six-speed auto. A massive $4365 saving on a 2023 Mazda G25 Touring wagon 2.4l direct fuel injection six speed automatic. A massive $5500 off a 2022 Ford Everest. A massive $7350 off a 2022 Hyundai Santa Fe!
After someone from the car buying service had his sales pitch done and dusted, Noone was back to say this: “The cost of shop card is between 500 and 600 dollars depending on the value of the car.”
MGH has replayed that sentence over and we’re still not quite sure of the words he used but we think Noone was saying the cost for members to access this service was in that range. We honestly cannot be sure.
But what we do know is that if Nine News thought this yarn was a hot news item worthy of repeated plugs throughout the bulletin and earlier shameless plus during Millionaire Hot Seat and even the night before (from memory), then the bitter, washed-up old hacks who compile this column have a half a dozen Walkleys sitting on their collective mantelpieces!
The thousands of dollars of discount are clearly for car buyers without a trade-in and are ready to pay cash.
The MGH recommends you go directly to your car dealership, make sure their quote for whatever car and specifications you’re interested in is standard across dealerships and then tell them about the Costco deal and say you want a similar hefty cash discount yourself. Start with, say $10,000 (it’s important to keep cool with a poker face that doesn’t blush) and negotiate your way down!
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