TOP TROPHY UP FOR GRABS!
EDITORIAL:
The Bug is proud to announce the creation of a special trophy (above) to be awarded to the finest example of the white, privileged, rich, selfish, self-centred, dog-whistling, total shitheads we are featuring up to The Voice referendum day.
It’s a beautiful trophy, is it not? And struck at a not-inconsiderable cost, mind, for an organisation that has never sought to monetise its activities as it unselfishly serves the Australian people it loves. The trophy is mixed media, and includes ceramics, paper mache, tin and, of course, actual human faeces.
Now if you like a punt and think picking the winner to be announced on Monday October 16 is going to be easy, think again. Not all the people with a chance of pulling this off are pictured below.
For example, Pauline Hanson, national leader of the white indigenous One Nations people, is missing. She will be featured in our total shitheads series shortly for her belief that white Australians will soon have to pay our First Nations people a fee to go to the beach!
Luckily for Australia, the people behind The Voice left this nasty morsel of information behind in a cafe and it was passed on to Aunty Pauline.
Also missing too are three black privileged, rich, selfish, self-centred, dog-whistling, total shitheads who may as well be white considering the massive fraud they are perpetrating on supposedly their own people – 4% of the nation’s population. We refer, of course, to Nyunggai Warren Stephen Mundine, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price and Lidia Thorpe.
As mentioned above, picking the winner will not be easy.
Take the aforementioned Aunty Pauline and former Prime Minister Tony Abbott. Sure, there’s an awful lot of shit pouring out of their mouths at the moment but you can almost feel sorry for them seeing they’re both as dumb as batshit.
We are never in doubt about that any moment Aunty Pauline opens her mouth and speaks but the Mad Monk’s stupidity was not really laid bare until he thought giving Prince Phillip an Australian knighthood was a good idea, he chowed down on an unpeeled onion and turned himself, with Peta Credlin’s excellent help and guidance, into a fucking joke of an ex-PM in just a few short years. A remarkable effort, really.
Anyone else missing that funny little parrot-thing he used to do with his tongue every time he said something he thought was brilliant or clever, which, to be fair, was all the time?
This most simple of simpletons is the man who has led the campaign that our First Nations people having a simple “advisory” voice to Parliament is racist and divisive because white Australians aren’t being offered one too!
Gobsmackingly, head-shakingly stupid, is it not? Abbott clearly wants a Voice to Parliament for people born in London, one committed to closing the gap between those folk and Aborigines and Torres Strait Islanders.
As a starter, Abbott could give away all his wealth and his property, live hand to mouth for a while, forget whatever education his feeble little brain took in, be looked down upon by even more people on Sydney’s North Shore than look down on him now, go for ever without even a job offer to join the News Corp board, and die as soon as possible from a number of health issues.
We repeat: it’s not easy, is it? Should it be Peter Dutton who thinks shouting “Don’t know? Vote No!” over and over is going to get him into the Lodge.
Should it be any number of the brown-nosing, shit-spewing Newscorpse essayists writing risible crap for a wrinkly-arsed nonagenarian, ethics-free, money-hungry, Yank who couldn’t give a flying, Viagra-fueled, fuck about Australia’s standing in the world?
On second thoughts, maybe we should give the trophy to the Dirty Digger right now?
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