The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.

The bitter, washed-up, old hacks who compile this column got an instant, collective, giggle- on with a nice little blunder on Nine News 6pm bulletin out of Brisbane last night.

It was the yarn about Virgin airlines launching an investigation after prominent disability advocate Dr Dinseh Palipana OAM was accidentally tipped out of his wheelchair through being pushed around a corner too fast while being taken to his departure gate yesterday for a flight to Melbourne.

So far so good. But then Dr Palipana was described as the 2020-21 Australian of the Year, which might have come as quite a shock to the actual recipient of that award, Grace “Side Eye” Tame. Dr Palipana was the Queensland finalist in those awards.

Not the gravest mistake made by Australia’s mainstream mediocre over the past 24 hours but a mistake nevertheless. Accuracy is still a treasured component of the craft of journalism, right?

And, sorry to tub it in Nine News, but Aunty got it right. It’s not rocket surgery, you know.

***

Mediocre Bytes is grateful to the same Nine news bulletin for the opportunity to once again run the type of graphic we’ve used many times over the journey, guessing what Melissa Downes and Andrew Lofthouse really think about some of the shit they’re made to read out.

We thought last night’s effort from Melissa was a beauty, as she read the lead-in to the story about the Brisbane Broncos’ awards night at the Convention Centre in South Brisbane.

Take it away, Melissa: “The footie boots and the dirty jerseys have been put away for the offseason…”

Ooh! Yukky poo! If those Broncos boys were too far up themselves to wash their own playing gear before storing it all away for the next six months, where were their wives, girlfriends or mothers, hey?

Sorry, where were their wives or husbands, boyfriends or girlfriends or mothers or fathers or non-binary support staff!

Fuck it’s hard getting things right in the politically correct #metoo 21st Century! It really is.

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