Paris solves bed bug problem

2024 OLYMPIC GAMES:

Organisers of the 2024 Paris Olympic Games say they have settled on a novel solution to the threat posed to the event by the plague of bed bugs infesting the city. (below)

A spokesperson for the Paris 2024 Organising Committee said a new official mascot would be deployed to help reduce public concerns about the widespread and seemingly ineradicable infestation.

“We believe our new mascot Buggy (main picture) will help reshape the current negative image bed bugs have in the public mind,” the spokesperson said.

“We want Buggy to help shift perceptions to ensure those attending Olympic events next year see bed bugs as a positive feature of the Games and our city.

“Buggy will be reminding visitors that they will leave Paris with truly romantic reminders of their visit – a myriad of tiny ‘love bites’ all over their bodies,” the spokesperson said.

However, the addition of a new mascot has drawn criticism from the existing 2024 Games mascot, Pierre the Surly Croissant. (below)

Speaking through a translator, Pierre said he was upset at being partly sidelined to make way for Buggy.

“I’m being treated like merde by a bunch of merde-heads who can, how you say, go fuck themselves,” he said while drawing back heavily on an unfiltered Gitanes and swilling a glass of Beaujolais.

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