VOICE REFERENDUM:

Two prominent Nazis who not only attended No rallies against a constitutional voice for First Nations people in the Melbourne CBD last weekend but who saluted vigorously throughout and shouted racist epithets at anyone who looked a bit dark-skinned have been left shattered after their membership applications to the Liberal Party of Australia were summarily rejected.

They are A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle and J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle (both far right, above) from Melbourne’s west.

They spoke exclusively to The Bug after their totally unexpected rejection for Liberal Party membership.

The Bug: You two guys must be absolutely heartbroken over this terrible snub after everything you’ve done to show your commitment to modern Liberal Party values.

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle: We are devastated, yes.

The Bug: If you say ‘heartbroken’, we can use it in the heading to really garner sympathy for your plight.

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: Well, yes then. We are totally heartbroken.

The Bug: Good. Where do you two brothers live?

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle: Oh, we’re not brothers!

The Bug: Sorry!

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: Don’t be. It’s a common mistake. I actually live in Werribee and A. Dolf lives in Niddrie.

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle: That’s right. We actually hadn’t met before last Saturday’s rally.

The Bug: Really?

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: Huh, huh.

The Bug: Tell us how your application went down?

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: We actually took our applications into the Liberal Party headquarters at 257 Collins Street and presented all our evidence.

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle: That’s right. We showed them our banner from that rally and everything.

The Bug: This one?

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: Huh, huh.

The Bug: That should have gone down a treat. One of the No argument’s basic themes is that the Voice is unfair because the First Nations people are being offered something Whiteies aren’t being offered. Your poster says exactly the same thing!

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle: Exactly. Maybe there’s a bit more dog-whistling in the way Tony Abbott and others are saying what is really the exact same thing but we couldn’t believe we weren’t signed up immediately. If something is terrible unfair to whites, it’s also anti-white, surely?

The Bug: You’ve got no arguments from us here.

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: The membership committee then threw all sorts of questions at us and we reckon we did brilliantly. European settlement had been an absolute boon for the dar .. the coo..

The Bug: The First Nations people?

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: That’s them. It’s not our fault that some of those lazy black bast…

The Bug: The First Nations people?

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: …. yes, them, and if they haven’t made the most of things under excellent British guidance it’s not our fault. For fuck’s sake, you get your half-caste kids taken off you and you sook on about it for ever!

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle: We sprouted all the No arguments at the top of our voices. The Statement from the Heart being a document dozens of pages long. John Howard’s argument that the government will have to implement anything the dar..the coo..

The Bug: The First Nations people want?

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: That’s right. How Melbourne’s name will be changed and how the High Court will be bogged down with litigation that will bring this proud nation to its knees.

The Bug: This proud boys nation.

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: Huh-huh. I shouted ‘We’re going to lose our farms and our houses!’ over and over again.

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle: And then we sprouted all the beliefs of the cookers, the proud boys you mentioned before, the MAGA crowd, the 5G tower protesters, the Hansonites, the conspiracy theorists, the far-right religious nutters and those who had an almost visceral hatred for Daniel Andrews and that included almost everyone there.

The Bug: They did made up most of the crowd last weekend, come to think of it. You should have been a shoo-in for Liberal membership.

J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: That’s what we thought and we deadset saw the chairman pick up his “application approved” rubber stamp.

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle: It’s then that one of the other bastards asked us how many years we had been active members of the Pentecostal Church and how much money we had made to honour Jesus Christ, our Lord and Master, and when we had to admit we weren’t even members and didn’t have much money, we were shown the door.

The Bug: In the end, not right-wing enough, hey?

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle and J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: Huh, huh!

The Bug: Thanks for talking to us this morning.

A. Dolf Nazi-Nouvelle and J. Oseph Nazi-Nouvelle: SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL!

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Werribee and Niddrie,