THE MEDIA:
Senior editorial staff of News Crap Australia’s national broadshit The Australian have told company management that extra newsroom costs in coming months will likely blow out the paper’s already significant annual operating loss in the current financial year.
A source within the newspaper said the additional costs would be incurred through overtime payments for senior writers needing to replace the prepared obituaries they had written for Murdoch which were edited and repurposed in response to his sudden announcement to end his term as chair of the global News Crap International parent company.
“They burned off the obits so they need to start from scratch and write entirely new ones to keep on the shelf until needed,” the source said.
“The wages bill will be astronomical given that the hectares of newsprint devoted to Rupert’s decision on his position as chair will be dwarfed by the coverage when he dies which, according to The Oz itself, isn’t likely for several decades if ever.
“But luckily the costs involved, while heavy, will be slightly less than they might have otherwise been thanks to Greg Sheridan and Gerard Henderson who’ve offered to spend as long as it takes to write fresh obits without pay.
“They both said that writing about the great man was payment enough and were willing to spend days, weeks, and maybe months at the task for nothing.
“Management suggested a cost-saving idea to editor-in-chief of The Oz, Michelle Gunn, to lower the costs associated with editor-at-large Paul Kelly replacing his obituary material that he refashioned into a profile of Rupert last week.
“Management urged Michelle to strike a deal with Kelly in which he’d be paid per column centimetre but on a reducing scale so that the more he writes the less he earns.
“Unfortunately for management, Michelle had to break the news that she had already considered the idea, but to be realistic she had offered Kelly a per-column-kilometre rate which they were still negotiating,” the source said.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
