Murdoch wiggles into new role

CHILDREN’S ENTERTAINMENT:

Rupert Murdoch has revealed shock plans for his immediate future following his announced retirement as head of the global News Corp media organisation.

In a statement Mr Murdoch said he had acquired the company behind the Australian-based globally popular Wiggles children’s entertainment empire.

In a further shock, the 92-year-old Murdoch said he would be performing and touring as part of the Wiggles’ line-up, replacing original cast member and group founder, “blue Wiggle” Anthony Field. (main picture)

A source within the Wiggles said Mr Murdoch had been undertaking due diligence for several months on The Wiggles Pty Ltd, the company that produces live children’s’ concerts, multi-media shows, and a range of books, toys, and other merchandising.

“He finally made what I can describe as an undisclosed but very substantial bid for the company that was immediately accepted by the owners – the four original Wiggles, Anthony,  Murray Cook, Greg Page, and Jeff Fatt,” the spokesperson said.

“The deal was very attractive to both sides, especially Rupert who saw it as a chance to soften his image, especially by taking to the stage to sing and dance for audiences full of kids as well as appearing in the group’s TV and online content.

“It also shows he’s lost none of his skill for thinking well ahead and outside the box.

“Buying the Wiggles also offers a chance to secure the futures of his six children if control of News Corp itself ever falls into the hands of anyone other than the Murdoch family.

“The Wiggles now have up to eight main cast members compared with the original four. So there are opportunities for Rupert to bring in his own kids as cast members now that he owns the company.

“Once Rupert dies or retires as the new ‘blue Wiggle’ his job can go to Prudence, Elisabeth, Lachlan, James, Grace, or Chloe .

“And even if all of his kids need jobs, there’s plenty to go around plus we shouldn’t forget the positions of other cast members such as Dorothy the Dinosaur, Captain Feathersword, and Wags the Dog.

“There’s a myriad of jobs for Rupert’s kids and even his grandkids.

“It’s a brilliant strategy because as history has shown, no matter how useless or incompetent you are, if you’re one of Rupert’s kids you’ll always have a highly paid job for life,” the source said.

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