Our Media Glass House researchers believe that somewhere deep within the bowels of News Crap Australia’s online “news” websites there may well be someone writing actual, quality news stories.
But, as they also say, readers who venture beyond the paywall as News Crap Australia subscribers often need to sift through loads of absolute shit to find such output.
Take for example the gem of a “news” story running in the Lifestyle section on the “news” websites of several Murdoch-controlled turdbloids around the nation and news.com.au. (below)
It appears to our MGH teams that the internet, according to many online “news” headlines, is a rather fragile beast which can be “shocked” or “broken” of “melts down” at the drop of a hat.
And so it was in this case, apparently, although no verification of such a reaction was offered.
For those who clicked on the item and opened up the actual story, the big revelation was all about the popular chocolate treat Kinder Surprise – the one that’s shaped like an egg and contains a small toy that itself is safely wrapped up inside.
The big “news” was that someone somewhere on the internet had woken up to the fact that the yellow wrapping for the tiny toy inside the egg-shaped chocs is designed to look like the yolk of an egg! (main picture)
OMG, as the internet would itself say if it wasn’t so badly broken or shocked for most of the time.
It’s the sort of essential “news” that News Crap Australia seems to think readers can’t do without, given one of its Lifestyle “news” stories a few months back breathlessly “revealed” that the design of the boxes for Arnott’s Shapes biscuits reflect the actual shape of the bikkies inside.
You know, the boxes for the hexagonal bikkies have an identical white hexagon on the front, oval bikkies come in a box decorated with a white oval, the rectangular variety has a white rectangle, and so on. (below)
Our MGH teams admit that it’s not only News Crap Australia that runs such drivel.
But for an organisation with “news” in its name, they suggest that maybe the bar should be set a tad higher by Mr K.R. Murdoch.
The headline accompanying the item on Arnott’s Shapes said: “Shapes fans shocked over weird packet revelation.”
Our MGH researchers admit to being shocked as well – shocked that nobody at News Crap Australia has ever sat down with those in charge of commissioning and publishing these type of “stories” to say: “This is total shit. Why the fuck would we run crap like that?”
Our MGH teams know the answer and also know that our readers know the answer.
They suggest that the next time anyone reads a self-serving News Crap Australia story about the billions, nay trillions, of visitors it claims read its online output they might care to reflect on the quality of the bait it puts out to generate such clicks.
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