…INCREDIBLY OUT OF CONTROL!
The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.
The bitter, washed-up, old hacks who compile this column are starting to suspect the people at Nine News Brisbane who write the leadins for newsreaders Andrew Lofthouse and Melissa Downes fit into one or two camps.
Those who think they are LNP publicists … and those who think they are spruiking the network’s next big reality TV program “that’s going to stop the whole world in its tracks”.
This latter group has been busy lately, with hyperbole flowing freely from their computer keyboards.
In Wednesday night’s bulletin, Lofthouse declared at the outset that one of the night’s big yarns would be Olympian Steven Bradbury being rewarded “for an incredible act of bravery at Caloundra”.
Our washed-up team if compilers thought that was, well, incredible.
Don’t get them wrong. They’ve never done anything brave in their lives and they think it’s great that Bradbury, fit as he is but no spring chicken at almost 50, has saved four people from drowning but it was absolutely believable that he was capable of swimming out on his board and saving those swimmers by keeping them above water until livesavers arrived. Bradbury is entitled to be proud about his totally believable act of bravery.
And then last night, Lofthouse’s job once again was to tease the story of a “driving disgrace” on the Gold Coast with “jaw-dropping video of a baby propped up at the wheel on a south-east highway”.
The image of some braincell-challenged bogan letting an infant grab the wheel and not ensuring the bub was safely secured in a properly restrained baby capsule as required by law would have had many viewers shaking their heads and tut-tutting loudly, perhaps.
Mediocre Bytes just doubts very much that any viewer’s jaw would have dropped to a noticeable degree.
Rampant hyperbole tends to detract from what Nine News is supposedly trying to impress viewers with: a no-nonsense, professional, measured approach to news with each and every word selected on its merits.
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
The Bug Online 