Ita widens Gerard Henderson probe

Australian Broadcasting Corporation chair, Ita Buttrose, has expanded an internal investigation into possible staff misbehaviour following the readmission to hospital of News Crap Australia columnist Gerard Henderson just a day after being discharged after a three-week stay.

Mr Henderson was rushed back to St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney this morning and remains in its intensive care unit (main picture) after again collapsing at The Australian’s office in Surry Hills.

He had just been released yesterday from the same hospital after spending three weeks in its Ageing Right-Wing Wing following a previous collapse at the national broadshit’s newsroom.

I am told by a source at The Australian that Mr Henderson’s latest collapse happened shortly after he returned to work today after his three-week absence and opened an email marked “STRICTLY PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL”.

“The email told Gerard that following Ita Buttrose’s decision not to seek reappointment next year as the Corporation chair his name had been placed on a shortlist to replace her,” the source said.

“The email intimated that the shortlist was ‘very short’ and that Gerard was certain to be appointed.

“Others in the newsroom knew something was amiss when they heard Gerard utter an orgasmic shriek, then try to muffle the sound.

“Somewhat embarrassingly for Gerard, those who witnessed his reaction also could not miss the fact that he had spontaneously ejaculated and evacuated at the same time.”

The Australian source said Mr Henderson again collapsed while muttering “At last, at last”, and an ambulance was called to once again take him to St Vincent’s Hospital.

“It all happened very quickly, and Gerard didn’t even have time to use the new A, B, and C keys that had been replaced on his computer keyboard while he was away,” the source said.

Mr Henderson’s previous collapse and admission to hospital happened after he was sent a bogus news release claiming the ABC had decided to use a rotating list of host for its Q&A program to fill the vacancy caused by the departure of former host Stan Grant.

The supposed new hosts named in the fake news release were (clockwise below) trade unionist, Thomas Mayo; lawyer and longstanding social activist, Noel Pearson; University of Melbourne academic Marcia Langton; filmmaker Rachel Perkins; and author of the Dark Emu book, Bruce Pascoe.

Ms Buttrose announced an investigation at the time to determine whether any ABC staff were involved in preparing or sending the bogus news statement would now be expanded to encompass the latest incident involving the fake email.

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