“Vomitous, rancid, tripe spewed forth by a racist bullshitter without peer!”
That was one of the kinder comments by one of the judges of The Bug’s Media Glass House Arse-Licker of the Month award when a column by Andrew Bolt (above) lobbed on their desks yesterday.
The judges met formally soon after and declared Bolt the early winner of the uncoveted trophy for August. But more than that – and on the strength of Bolt’s absurd and offensive claims that white Australians are somehow losing control of the country – those same judges revoked their decision taken only months ago – to give Janet Albrechtsen trophy naming rights on the strength of a body of ring-tingling work that has saved the Murdochs hundreds of dollars in toilet-tissue costs over time.
That honour will now be redetermined at a later meeting after the judges have fully restocked the fridges in their meeting room with sufficient Bundaberg rum and Coke bottles as they suspect their deliberations will be long and intense.
While the most spectacularly stupid parts of Bolt’s comment piece willl be throughly laughed over in The Bug when Bolt is officially named The Bug’s Arse-Licker for August early next month, the judges wanted to acknowledge the racist themes at the heart of Bolt’s piece, as shown by this Twitter promo for his column.
UPDATE: Three of this nation’s finest mainstream female columnists have reacted angrily to the judges’ decision to rule a line under the Arse-Licker August competition and award the honour to Bolt almost two weeks early.
A furious Peta Credlin phoned The Bug’s office to claim a weekend column of hers proving that the Urulu statement from the heart was in fact many pages long “would have had Rupert’s arse smelling of roses and exuding an absolute ring of confidence” for days on end, while Parnell Palme McGuinness said the use of just two words in a column of her own last weekend – “casually cruel” to describe Robodebt should surely have made her the hot favourite for the August award. “You could have eaten a meal off Peter Costello’s arse after that!” is what she said to The Bug’s switchboard staff. Meanwhile, Vikki Campion phoned in to claim she had just about reached the height of her literary powers. “My lovely long legs have never looked sexier,” she bellowed down the phone. “I demand that my body and my work be duly recognised”.
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