ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE:
While the Murdoch family-controlled global media company News Crap has formally announced plans to embrace artificial intelligence (AI) in its production processes to cut costs (below), it can be revealed that its local subsidiary News Crap Australia has been experimenting with the cutting-edge technology for years.
A source within News Crap Australia said AI was nothing new to the daily newspaper operations of the diversified media company.
“We’ve been using AI for years in the guise of the Daily Telegraph’s ‘national affairs editor’ most readers would know as James Morrow,” the source said. (main picture)
“It’s been an ongoing experiment to see how well we could integrate AI into our editorial output, and I must say it’s been largely successful.”
The source said “James Morrow” was actually a US-built robot specifically designed and manufactured by a firm located in California’s Silicon Valley.
“I won’t name the firm first of all because News Crap has a secrecy clause in its contract with the robot’s developers, and second, you don’t have a right to know,” the News Crap source said.
“The California firm was the first in the world to develop an AI machine specifically for churning out editorial content.
“They called it the Write-O-Matic and News Crap Australia ordered one a few years back but at the same time sought changes to its programming to better suit our editorial philosophy.
“So they refined its programming and came up with the Right-O-Matic which we then presented to our readers and subscribers as ‘James Morrow’.
“It’s since shown how well AI can work. We just had him, I mean it, programmed to rant against anything the Labor Party or Anthony Albanese or anyone in the federal government says, and he delivers every time.
“We’ve also programmed him to attack the ABC, anyone left of Genghis Khan, climate change activists – in fact any environmental campaigners.
“We can adjust its settings and add new targets to its list such as the current voice to parliament referendum, and it churns out all sorts of arguments against it no matter how loopy, looney, or downright absurd.
“In fact if there is one fault with the Right-O-Matic it’s that it often doesn’t filter or change the Liberal Party news releases or Peter Dutton speeches we feed into it, but just reprints them pretty much without amendment.
“In fact at the end of one recent column, ‘James Morrow’ included the contact name and number for a Dutton staffer for further information from the bottom of the original Liberal Party news statement.
“Luckily we caught that before publication and we’re working to refine its programming to ensure it doesn’t happen again, but otherwise it’s been perfect for our purposes,” the source said.
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