Trump heads to highest court

Donald Trump has signalled an approach to America’s highest court in his bid to overturn charges levelled against him for attempting to forcibly change the result of the 2020 presidential election.

The latest tactic was revealed by Mr Trump after his appearance in a Washington DC Federal Court (pictured above by The Bug’s courtroom sketch artist) where he was formally charged with a range of offences allegedly committed before and during the Capitol riots on 6 January 2021 in an attempt to prevent the certification of Joe Biden as the 46th US President.

“These charges are fake,” Mr Trump said to reporters outside the court.

“They demean the dignity of the presidency. They are so fake. So very, very fake. Like Stormy Daniels’ tits. So fake. Oh yeah.

“I’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing. I’m innocent of any charges laid against me.

“Even on January 6 all I was doing was encouraging true American patriots who’d made the trip to Washington to go see the US Capitol for themselves.

“I was just an innocent tour guide. It’s a big, beautiful building. Oh yeah. Big and beautiful. Like Storm Daniels’ tits.

“But if those tourists happened to have strangled or lynched Mike Pence when they were there, that wouldn’t have been my fault.”

Mr Trump then indicated his plan to overturn the charges laid against him.

“I’ll be seeking to plead my case before the highest court in our land – Fox News – to ensure justice is done,” he revealed.

“I’ll be once again seeking the active assistance of chief justice Rupert Murdoch and his son and associate justice Lachlan to ensure the people of the United States hear my side of my story.

“As the old saying goes, justice must only not be done, it must seem to be done.

“Above all, we must protect the dignity of the presidency,” he said before entering a waiting limousine, dropping his trousers, and mooning reporters as he was driven off.

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