Aunty Pauline’s fight for what’s white!

BRISBANE: A defiant Aunty Pauline, national leader of the white indigenous One Nations peoples, is entering her fourth day of a hunger strike outside the Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s Brisbane headquarters, determined to force the national broadcaster to stop using Aboriginal names for Australian cities hosting the Football World Cup.

“I have steadfastedly declared throughout my entire public life that there’s not a racist bone in my body,” the proud leader of the white indigenous Bitchetty Grub peoples of the Ipswich region of south-east Queensland told The Bug this morning on the banks of the Brisbane River, “but enough is enough!”

Aunty Pauline began her hunger strike on Monday after hearing the ABC repeatedly using the Aboriginal words Meanjin for Brisbane, Gadigal for Sydney, Naam for Melbourne and Boorloo for Perth as match venues.

“It’s bad enough that the ABC is using both names but sometimes the dar.. the coo… the Abo name is used first, as it was this morning when reporting on the overnight game in Perth,” Aunty Pauline said in that wavering voice and using the frequent fractured syntax and muddled words that so endear her to her One Nations mob.

The proud member of the Bitchetty Grub people’s sub clan, the fishandchippery hunters, gatherers and retailers who later extended their home territory to yam-digging in the Lockyer Valley, reiterated there was not a racist bone in her body.

“Our capital cities would not even exist – let alone what they’re rightly called – if One Nations people hadn’t colonised this country after Captain Cook’s First Fleet circumnavigated the country and finally landed in Sydney in 1888,” she said.

“What did the dar… the coo… the first nations people ever do for my country? Did they build one Roman road, one Norman castle or one huge medieval cathedral to draw tourists here to gape at? Absolutely nothing! They didn’t even build Ayers Rock.”

Aunty Pauline vowed to continue her hunger strike until the ABC agreed to cease trying to replace “our much-loved capital city names with silly, hard-to-pronouce Abo ones”.

“This is just the thin edge of the wedge-tail eagle. It’s the very reason we need to vote down the Voice to Parliament later this year,” she said.

“Me and my One Nations peoples have every right to continue living in places called Brisbane, Ipswich and the Lockyer Valley and to visit places such as Fraser Island under its proper name.

“And if the dozens of First Nations tribes that have lived in Queensland for the past 6,000 years had one particular name for Queensland, I’ll eat my burka!

“And we will definitely not be paying rent to our First Nations brothers and sisters to live in places we own and by jiminy, if fish-and-chip-shop owners want to offer four pieces of mullet, large chips, four potato scallops and a half-dozen calamari rings for a reasonable $34.50 and call these items by their actual English names that everyone knows instead of some jigaboo jibberish, then they will!

“And no one’s bloody well going to welcome us onto our land!” the redhaired firebrand added, pointing out once more there wasn’t a racist bone in her entire body but she would be absolutely mortified if The Voice went ahead and half of the Northern Territory became a black state where whities were not welcome. And maybe not just in the NT!

Queensland paramedics who have been monitoring the fiery Senator’s health over recent days say they have detected little to no brainwave activity although it might be unfair to blame the hunger strike for that.

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