Trump’s lawyer seek changes

Lawyers for Donald Trump say a court room outside of Washington DC should be used to hear the charges against him arising from the 6 January 2021 insurrection at the US Capitol.

The Springfield-based firm representing the former US President, Lionel Hutz and Associates, has claimed a new venue was essential if Mr Trump was to receive a fair trial.

“How can my client get a fair hearing about charges involving the US capital at a trial that takes places in the US Capitol?” the firm’s principal Lionel Hutz told reporters in a brief appearance with Mr Trump outside his law offices. (main picture)

“I’m sorry, I should have said: How can he get a fair trial about charges involving the US Capitol in the US capital?

“You know, I always mix those two up. I don’t know why because one is a big white building which houses a lot of important people who apparently have congress there – well, it’s a free world and I’m no prude – and the other is a lot of other big white buildings.

“So I’ll also be asking the judge assigned to the case to rule that for the duration of the trial the Capitol should always be referred to as the white house. That should avoid any confusion, certainly in my mind.”

Mr Hutz said he had also recently discovered that one of Donald Trump’s sons likely to give evidence was named Donald Trump Junior.

“Once again we need to avoid confusion during the trial,” he said.

“The simplest way is to identify people is by the month of the year in which they were born.

“So because my client was born in June in the year 1946 I’ll be asking the judge to rule that he should always be referred to as Donald Trump June Year.

“Once again I think I’ve delivered a solution that will ensure my client gets a fair trial, no matter just how guilty he really is.

“Wait. You maybe shouldn’t use that last bit,” Mr Hutz said before Mr Trump unsuccessfully attempted to grab a gun from the holster of one of his Secret Service detail while yelling to an aide to “get Rudy on the phone” and pushing Mr Hutz into a limousine which then sped away.

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