THE VOICE REFERENDUM:
The committee running the “no” case for the referendum on an indigenous voice to federal parliament has defended its decision to enlist the help of former deputy prime minister and former National Party leader, Barnaby Joyce.
A spokesperson for the committee said it welcomed Mr Joyce’s participation.
“The media widely regard Barnaby as the best retail politician in Australia so who are we to disagree?” the spokesperson said prior to Mr Joyce’s first “no” campaign engagement – a public meeting at a shire hall in his New England electorate.
Mr Joyce was helped to the stage after a slight delay to the start of the meeting caused by local police insisting that those attending check their guns and tinfoil hats at the door.
In a trademark tour de force performance Mr Joyce attacked the concept of amending the Australian Constitution to enshrine a voice to parliament.
His wavering voice – and stance – betraying the highly charged nature of the issue, Mr Joyce opened his speech by warning that some of the consequences of a “yes” vote would include the price of beef roasts hitting at least $100.
“In addition, a ‘yes’ vote would mean indigenous people could take over your backyard including your Hills hoist,” he belched.
“It will also mean the price of beef roasts hitting at least $100. Plus it will shut down the mining industry and enable indigenous people to enter your property at will.
“Not only that, but it will also mean the price of beef roasts hitting at least $100.”
After opening the meeting to audience questions, Mr Joyce responded to a range of people who, among many other claims, suggested that a “yes” vote would see the abolition of Australia Day, the renaming of the entire nation to give it its traditional Aboriginal name Terry Nullius, new laws making it compulsory under penalty of jail for white Australians to say “sorry” to any indigenous person they met, and the legalised kidnapping of the children of white families as revenge for the “non-existent stolen generation”.
“These are all very, very legitimate concerns,” Mr Joyce said, while checking his watch.
“Not only that, but a ‘yes’ vote will mean the price of beef roasts hitting at least $100,” Mr Joyce added before rapidly closing the meeting and running out of the hall after noting the time was almost 10pm.
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