By The Bug‘s cricket writer who is not travelling with the Australian men’s Ashes side.
The hearts of all true cricket lovers must surely go out to David Warner at this time.
Warner has declared his intention to retire at the end of the Sydney Test in the next Australian summer, which is all very decent of him, but there’s only the one problem with that. He’s no fucking good as an opening batsman any more.
Sure, he fluked some runs at Lord’s but here’s the reality of the situation. If the selectors keep Warner for the remaining two Ashes Tests, England will regain the urn three Tests to two.
Warner is done and dusted. He’s a shot duck with scores almost to match. His reflexes have deserted his aging body. If the Australian selectors have pencilled him in for the Old Trafford Test, please consider! Reach for the eraser … or some sandpaper.
The reality is that Warner is just as likely to make 1 and four in Manchester as he did at Edgbaston. And if he fails and Steve Smith and Labuschagne falter again, Australia will struggle to win there.
And Warner will fail. If Broad (pictured at top with his pet bunny) doesn’t clean up Warner cheaply in both innings at OT – and I think there’s a 89.4 per cent chance of that – then the returned Mark Wood – the fastest bowler on either side – will send down deliveries that poor old Davey’s almost 37-year-old brain won’t have time to transmit the necessary messages to his feet and hands to keep him out of trouble.
Two final points. It’s commendable that Australian captain Pat Cummins is defending Warner and calling for his retention. But existing team players always look after their own; it’s a form of insurance for when an aging Cummins is sending down too many harmless half-volleys, taking none-fors and facing his own demise.
The second is this laughable notion that Warner should be retained for his slips-catching ability. Really?
Drop Warner. The Ashes are on the line and there’s no room for mawkish and stupid sentimentality. Make Labuschagne open – he’s basically doing it anyway and it might make him concentrate a bit more – and bring back Cameron Green. Put him anywhere. First slip. The Gully. He can take catches that Warner couldn’t nab with a long-handled fishing net.
With two true all-rounders in the Australian side – Mitchell Marsh and Green – and a new opener who might just score 20 or 30 runs in each innings in Manchester – and, yes, Australia would have won in Leeds if Warner had done that – the urn stays with us!
Don Gordon-Brown
PS: Warner has been a wonderful cricketer for Australia. Apart from his shameful and leading role in sandpapergate, that is. There’s every chance if he bats well at the start of the Australian summer, he can still have his fairytale farewell at the SCG next January against Pakistan.
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