A live a lie oh!

The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.

Channel 9 Brisbane News viewers no doubt moved onto the edge of their seat during Thursday night’s 6pm bulletin when newsreader Melissa Downes announced a live cross to Edinburgh where King Charles the Third was gratefully receiving some Scottish baubles.

And there indeed was the King of Australia and Australia’s head of state being presented with the Honours of Scotland — the historic Scottish crown jewels that includes the Crown of Scotland, made for Scottish King James V in 1540 and used to crown Mary Queen of Scots in 1543, and the Sceptre, thought to have been given to James IV by Pope Alexander VI in 1494.

All very exciting, and Nine’s reporter Brett McCleod was there, live, to report on the majestic event and to interview loyalists and, to be fair, others opposed to this born-to-rule malarkey.

But this wonderful piece of live news did not impress the bitter, washed-up old hacks who compile Mediocre Bytes and its more serious sibling, Media Glass House.

And the reason: this story wasn’t live at all. It had happened the day before in the UK – on Wednesday their time- and that’s why our compilers had seen the footage on other networks on Thursday morning.

So why did Melissa say it was a live cross? A news service proud of its reputation should try to make each and every news item true in every respect, right? Factual news still has some currency in 21st life?

To be fair, as Mediocre Bytes and Media Glass House always are, Melissa did cross live – well, as live as we can possibly guess – to McLeod a bit later on and who admitted the event had indeed been held the day before.

But we’ll stick with our basic observation: the damage had already been done earlier. Any mention of a live cross should have been made at the appropriate time of the recap by McLeod.

For whatever reason, Melissa had clearly given her viewers the impression that the major bulletin was live.

She should refrain from telling her gullible news viewers that they’re about to see something live when it’s about as stale as Barnaby Joyce’s last half-drunk schooner of Bundy rum before he stumbled off to bed the night before.

***

One more from Melissa Downes, this time on Friday night.

She solemnly announced that the illegal and terribly unfair Robodebt scheme had resulted in two suicides. Who wrote that one for you, Melissa? Nine chair Peter Costello?

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