2023 LOGIE AWARDS:
The face of Australian television’s long-running Logie Awards has lashed out at judges for picking a shortlist of “nobodies and losers” for this year’s top gong.
Logie Statuette, who has been part of the awards since they were first held in 1959, said he was becoming “increasingly cynical” about their value.
Speaking during a recent photoshoot with the nominees for the Gold Logie (main picture) a clearly tired and emotional Mr Statuette made his views clear.
“Who the fuck are more than half these people,” he said, “and why are some of them even on the shortlist for the Gold Logie?”
After taking a swig of an unknown liquid from a hip flask Mr Statuette told reporters that the awards carrying his name were becoming “increasingly irrelevant”.
“I mean I know who Leigh Sales is, and I know who Shaun Micalleff is,” he said. “But neither has a current show on TV.
“In fact Leigh Sales now appears for just a few seconds each week to introduce the ABC’s Australian Story. Jeez, don’t knock yourself out Leigh, will ya?
“And it already seems like eons since Shaun vacated his weekly timeslot on the ABC.
“Which leaves the other five contenders, none of whom as far as I can detect is true Gold Logie material. The only one I vaguely recognise is the bearded nong who plays with Lego.
“It’s all become a big fucking joke,” Mr Statuette said of the annual TV industry awards, his voice rising within earshot of the nominees.
Before continuing, he took another lengthy swig from his flask before adding: “These unemployed and unemployable pissants are not only an insult to the industry, they’re an insult to the awards that carry my name.
“Why am I never consulted by the judges on these shortlists? If they did, it’d be an entirely different line-up I can assure you,” he said before belching loudly and sliding to the floor.
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