A tearful Peter Dutton has spoken at a news conference about the division being caused in the Australian community by the referendum campaign for an indigenous voice to federal parliament.
“I can’t believe how much and how deeply this referendum has divided our country by pitting ‘yes’ and ‘no’ supporters against each other,” Mr Dutton said with tears rolling down his face while trying to stifle laughter. (main picture)
“It’s the most divided our nation has been for a long, long time,” he declared as he burst into loud guffaws while wiping his eyes.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t go on right now,” he added as he doubled up with laughter.
“I think my work here is done anyway,” he said as he walked away while an aide called an end to the news conference.
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The Albanese Government has offered a state funeral to former federal Labor Party leader Mark Latham.
When contacted, a spokesperson for Prime Minister Anthony Albanese rejected suggestions that the government had mistaken Mr Latham for Simon Crean.
“No, not at all,” he said.
When advised that, unlike Mr Crean, Mr Latham was still alive, the spokesperson said: “So?”
He added that the offer to Mr Latham must be taken up before the end of the week at the latest.
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Bunnings Warehouse stores across South East Queensland have reported an unexpected upsurge in demand for buckets this morning.
“By our 6am opening time all stores reported queues of people lined up at their doors who made a swift beeline for the buckets section and bought at least one, sometimes two or more buckets before leaving,” a company spokesperson said.
“We were not able to immediately determine the cause of the sales rush because the customers invariably had their mouths full of something which made it difficult for them to speak.
“However, after some customers had, shall I say, used the bucket, they were able to tell us the reason for their demand was a double-page story and editorial in the Brisbane daily turdbloid The Courier-Mail about the 25th anniversary of Peter Beattie’s election as Queensland Premier as well as an op-ed penned by Mr Beattie himself about himself,” the spokesperson said. (below)
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