AMAZING SOCIAL STUDIES SYNCHRONICITY:
Independent research by three separate but highly qualified forensic behavioral psychologists has shown that three of our best known federal politicians have reached the peak of their political powers.
And take a bow, the conservative side of our national parliament! All three are from the LNP: Liberal Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, Liberal frontbencher Sussan Ley and National Party veteran Barnaby Joyce.
All three eminent scientists undertook their studies totally unaware of the others’ endeavours, with University of New England Senior Lecturer Ivor Thurston only just this week completing his doctoral studies into the political career of former deputy prime minister Joyce.
“I observed the Member for New England stumbling into the House of Representatives this week clutching what he thought were two glasses of Bundy rum and I knew my studies had reached their zenith.
“Here is a veteran MP who has reached peak pissed.
“No matter how long he stays in politics, I can’t see him getting any drunker.”
In the south-west of NSW, Griffith Institute of Technology Social Studies Department head Doctor Cleaver Dick has been studying the political fortunes of Liberal parliamentary deputy Sussan Ley, Member for Farrer.
“It’s always fascinated me how many really dumb people get into politics and it’s been an absolute delight to study Sussan over the term of the current Parliament.
“I’ve been intrigued by the way she has not wavered one iota from the very first Question Time of the Albanese Labor government’s term in office, demanding constantly to know why Labor had broken its promise to reduce power bills by $275 by 2025.
“But this week, I knew my studies had come to an end when she demanded to know whether an aboriginal voice to Parliament could demand that Australia Day on January 26 be abolished.
“Here is a career politician who has reached peak stupid. My paper’s conclusions will include the observation that it would be harder to be any dumber and still maintain living-organism status.
“Sussan has finally made Forrest Gump look like Mensa presidental material.”
The current federal Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has been the focus of research by Associate Professor Isaya No of the Sociology Department at the Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane.
“My aim has been to determine if and when Mr Dutton will reach peak negativity and by jove I think he’s got there over recent times.
“His strident and fierce opposition to the aboriginal Voice to parliament shows his determination never to be a yes man and I guess that’s commendable to some extent.
“But I’m not sure his negativity is endearing him to voters. One day he welcomes the parliament’s vote to let people have their say on the voice and days later calls for it to be axed.
“I think he’d be much better off sticking with his efforts to clearly define the basic principles of Liberalism as he sees them. But he keeps coming up with ideas about what those principles might indeed be but then opposes them almost straight away, which of course is his natural extinct.”
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