… they just fire the bastard up.
By The Bug‘s cricket writer
If Stuart Broad can still somehow singlehandedly manage to regain the Ashes for England and Wales this northern summer despite the first Test result, we’ll know exactly who to blame.
And that’s sports writers who keep bringing up a bit of nonsense involving Broad during the Ashes Test at Trent Bridge a decade ago.
And that’s sports scribes of the ilk of Ian Chadband who has penned pieces this week for Yahoo Sport and InQueensland.
Here’s the exact extract that has we at The Bug worried…

It’s all pretty damning, isn’t it? How dare Broad REFUSE to walk after giving such a BLATANT catch.
It’s all nonsense, of course, and my best guess is that Chadband is knowingly or otherwise chanelling Christopher “let’s show quality journalism the” Dore, former shit editor, shithouse feature writer and even shittier bad example to his staff at The Courier-Mail back in the day. But back to Dore’s pivotal role in falsely magnifying that Trent Bridge incident in a moment.
Please cut it out, Ian Chadband. You’re just making things worse. Broad might be 36 but he’s still an amazing bowler who can turn a match around in a flash, as he showed over recent days. What’s that they say about not poking a bee hive unless it’s absolutely necessary?
Here’s the reality of that incident at Trent Bridge. Walking when you know you’re out might be commendable but it’s never been compulsory. Many Australian cricketers have been notorious non-walkers and their argument is sound: why not take advantage of something the umpires have missed, for no other reason than to make up for the times they’ve been given out wrongly. No-one should have a beef with that.
The second great mythology of that Trent Bridge incident is that Broad nicked off straight to first slip. His dismissal was so clear and so obvious that at least the bastard should have blushed mightily as he put on his best angel-face, hmmm?
The basic truth is that Broad edged behind and the ball grazed the keeper’s gloves before flying to first slip.

Bear in mind that this Test was played in the decision referral system era. Broad was totally entitled to leave it to the umpire at the bowling end to do his job. It was not Broad’s fault that the Aussies had exhausted their DRS options, a rather bad habit of theirs.
So, let’s remind us all of Dore’s role in all of this. Dore was the genius who decided not to use Broad’s name when England arrived at the Gabba for the following Ashes Down Under, supposedly in retaliation for his disgraceful, unsportsmanlike, cowardly actions in Nottingham.
Dore’s stupid, childish, illogical “Broad ban” was launched, where Broad became the “27-year-old English medium-pace bowler” in the paper’s reports.

Real journalists will probably never have any real understanding why Dore decided to make a complete fool of himself with his Broad ban, especially as it was almost entirely based on the “fact” as he saw it: that Broad had edged straight to slip.
Dore penned a two-page piece on this nonsense and if his aim was to show his staff how not to write a factual story, he achieved his aim admirably.
He didn’t bother to check vision of the non-dismissal. He didn’t bother to talk to those involved. He didn’t listen to all the commentary available at the time. He clearly didn’t read this comment from Broad.

He opted for bullshit jingoistic journalism – some Pom-bashing – based on absolute bullshit.
Doubt that? Here’s just a little bit – paragraphs two and three – from a long piece he wrote later to defend his gross stupidity. The entire piece is cringeworthy.
It’s not that Broad nicked the ball to the keeper and stood his ground – that’s cricket.
BUT HE DID, DORE! HE DID NICK IT TO THE KEEPER.
It’s that he actually middled it to first slip, an entirely foreign concept in the general debate over walking, and stood sporting a docile look of bemusement at all the fuss.
BUT HE DIDN’T, DORE! HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY MIDDLE IT TO FIRST SLIP.
It’s clear the umpire on the ground saw only the deflection off the gloves. It’s why his finger didn’t go up.
The Bug understands Dore has since left Newscorpe’s version of journalism to pursue other interests including unwilling women. And seeing he was clearly of the old “never let the facts spoil a good story” school of non-journalism, that is indeed bloody good news.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
