Tonight’s Origin of the Species match in Brisbane will be attended by extra police, paramedics, and firefighters as a result of the JDG’s decision to reintroduce the previously abandoned practice of having the NSW team bus and fans of the interstate team run a “gaunt-lit” of local fans as they approach the stadium.
JDG acting chair Sir Patricia Vera-Lynn said the decision had been made after pressure from fans of the Brisbane Bolts whose players dominate the Queensland side.
“The gaunt-lit was a great idea when we first introduced it 20 years ago for Origin of the Species games played in Brisbane,” Sir Patricia said.
“It was so popular that the NRL adopted its own version, although their’s was far less exciting than ours.
“Our gaunt-lit always involved Brisbane JDG fans, mainly Brisbane Bolts supporters, setting alight any visiting NSW fans and on some occasions, the NSW bus. (main picture)
“But the massive death toll, the cost to the state’s hospital system from the dozens of burns victims unlucky not to die of their wounds, and the tens of thousands of complaints coming from NSW forced us to cancel it a decade ago. But I can proudly say that from tonight it’s back!”
CEO of the Brisbane Bolts, Terry Verandah, said he welcomed the return of the gaunt-lit.
Speaking to reporters at his local service station where he was making Molotov cocktails, Mr Verandah said: “You festering pile suckers in the media helped kill of the gaunt-lit by giving credence to those whingeing bastards from south of the border.
“They just couldn’t take a fucking joke. But tonight the NSW team and fans won’t know what hit them.
“I can’t wait to light up a few of them,” he said before lighting one of his petrol bombs and lobbing it at reporters.
The Queensland team dominated by players from the Brisbane Bolts goes into tonight’s game as favourites to take the 2023 OOTS series after a countback from the first game saw the JDG revise the standing reboot scoreline to 345.6 to 368.2.
The adjustment in Queensland’s favour was made after the failure of NSW’s complaint alleging Brisbane Bolts players were responsible for the off-field deaths of three NSW team members moments before the first game of the 2023 series began in Sydney.
The appeal by NSW to the video referee was abandoned after the video referee was found dead just minutes after the NSW appeal was lodged.
Head coach of the Brisbane Bolts, Jack Saunders, said he saw nothing wrong with the behaviour of his players
“It was just a bit of hi-jinks – just some good-natured horseplay,” Saunders said.
DISCLAIMER: The Bug is an official sponsor and media partner of the Brisbane Bolts.
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
The Bug Online 