Nine Entertainment Co. chair Peter Costello has secured the endorsement of the company’s board for his plan to cut operating costs at its television arm to boost its bottom line.
Mr Costello said while many of the changes he now planned to implement would not be noticed by viewers, they would soon see a change in their current newsreading teams behind the desk in capital city markets.
“To save money we’ll be sacking all existing news readers for our major evening bulletins in each metropolitan market and I’ll be taking over their duties,” he said.
“I’ll be presenting one bulletin for all markets across the nation which means it’ll be cheap as chips to produce.
“I’ve already had lots of rehearsals (main picture) so I can promise a smooth transition for viewers.
“The board agreed with my assessment that Nine News bulletins are just a litany of Liberal Party propaganda and embarrassing advertorials so as one of the biggest far-right spinners and bullshitters in our nation’s political history I’m a perfect fit,” he said.
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Donald Trump says he has instructed his lawyers to move soon to replace the judge currently assigned to hear the case against him for allegedly breaking laws covering the retention of top-secret presidential records.
When the case goes to trial it will be heard by Judge Aileen Cannon who was nominated to the US Federal District Court in Florida by Trump when he was in the White House in 2020.
“Judge Cannon is a fine lady. Very fine indeed,” Trump told reporters outside the court house where he was formally charged.
“Oh yeah. A very fine lady, so fine I’d probably try to grab her pussy in any other circumstances.
“But I put her on the bench so I don’t want any of my enemies saying she owes me. I have always believed in the important principle that justice must seem to be done.
“That’s why I’ve told my legal team to move to have Judge Cannon step down and be replaced by someone everyone can trust who’ll do the right thing, like Judge Judy for instance. (below)
“Oh yeah. Judge Judy would do a fine job and most importantly she’d see that the trial would start and finish within an hour, allowing for commercial breaks,” he said.
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