MEDIA NEWS:
Far right-wing commentator Gerard Henderson has narrowly escaped being sacked as a columnist for the national broadshit The Australian.
The Bug can reveal that Henderson (main picture) was summoned on Thursday morning to the office of the newspaper’s editor-in-chief Michelle Gunn at the headquarters of News Crap Australia in Surry Hills, Sydney.
There he was handed a sheet of paper containing a breakdown of the eight columns he wrote in May for the online and hard copy versions of The Australian. (below)
Sources at The Australian said Henderson was shaken when Gunn began to read the statistics she had asked to be compiled about his efforts in the previous month.
“Eight columns in the month of May and across all of those there were 26 separate items attacking the ABC,” Gunn said, fixing her gaze on Henderson and hurling the sheet of paper in his direction across her desk.
“Really, Gerard? Only 26? In the entire month?” she added.
A shocked Henderson tried to speak but initially couldn’t. He recovered enough to stutter: “I…I…I thought I’d done more than that.”
Gunn then delivered a killer blow.
“If that’s not bad enough, did you know that of your eight columns in May two contained no items at all attacking the ABC? None,” she spat.
“You seem to have forgotten what we expect of you and everyone else here at The Oz – unquestioning adherence to the policy of bagging the ABC as often as possible for anything and everything it does to help advance the commercial interests of our employer.”
One person familiar with the exchange claimed Henderson had urinated in his pants (below) by that stage and tried once again to speak but couldn’t.
“You know what this means if you keep on in this fashion, don’t you Gerard?” Gunn said while drawing her forefinger across her own throat.
A blubbering Henderson then threw himself at Gunn’s feet.
“Please don’t sack me,” he pleaded. “Where would I get another job? I’m so tediously predictable and boring that not even Sky News ‘after dark’ will have me.”
Henderson then left Gunn’s office and immediately set to writing his first column for June which appeared online on Friday and contained nine separate items giving the ABC a mention, in unflattering terms of course.
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