ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS:

Rupert Murdoch’s News Crap Australia has sought expert advice on how to manage its growing stockpile of e-waste, specifically computer keyboards that have reached the end of their working life prematurely.

A spokesperson for News Crap Australia said the company was working with e-waste disposal firms and environmental protection agencies in several states to find an answer to its problem.

“We already have thousands of old keyboards that are relatively new but which are now useless and need to be stored before working out how to dispose of them,” the spokesperson said.

“Some are being held at commercial storage centres off site but most are being kept on the premises in various newsrooms around the country, especially offices of The Australian.

“Lucky for us we’ve sacked so many news staff over the years that we’ve got stacks of room to store them and don’t look like running out of space for at least a few months.

“But by then we hope to have a permanent or at least a long-term solution to our problem.”

The spokesperson said the root cause of the problem was the damage being done by the heavy use of the “A’, “B”, and “C” keys on the traditional QWERTY keyboards.

“We have found that these keys are being hit so much that they very quickly break and can’t be replaced,” the spokesperson said.

“A case in point is Gerard Henderson’s keyboard, or keyboards I should say. He goes through several a day. (main picture)

“Some of Gerard’s keyboards last only an hour or two. But it’s not just him, many other columnists and commentators are having the same problem.

“So it’s imperative we find an answer because we are very, very concerned about the impact this constant turnover of keyboards is having.

“Just to clarify, our concerns are about our bottom line of course. We couldn’t give a flying fuck about the environment,” the spokesperson added.