Libs select Fadden candidate!

The Liberal Party believes it has found the perfect candidate to retain the Gold Coast seat of Fadden now left vacant by the resignation of Stuart Robert.

He is NSW Assistant Commissioner of Police and Southern Region Commander Peter Cotter.

Cotter is expected to quit the force as soon as House Speaker Milton Dick announces a by-election date for a seat the Opposition must win if it wants to retain any credibility as an alternative government come the next election.

The top cop immediately came under the close eye of senior federal Liberal Party officials who were watching his trainwreck of an interview as he tried to defend the senior constable who Tasered a 95-year-old woman in an aged care home in Cooma. She remains in a critical condition after falling and hitting her head after being tasered.

A senior party official told The Bug: “Commander Cotter’s total loyalty to his people is what struck us the most. It’s an attribute you sadly see less and less of in an increasingly woke Australia.

“Seeing it’s totally against police rules to taser the elderly, Cotter could have easily cut that senior constable adrift yet he chose the right path, defending the indefensible, painting a picture of this demented old thing, a serrated knife in her hand, moving ever so slowly forward on her walking frame.

“It was stupid, it was illogical and it was embarrassing to watch and you could almost laugh at the shit he was coming out with, especially from someone who’s seen the ‘confronting’ police body cam footage but it was his taser-like, sorry, laser-like commitment to a lost cause no matter how fucking embarrassing it was and how dumb it made him look that really caught our attention.

“I turned to my colleagues in the party’s national secretariat and I said simply: ‘You don’t see those qualities much any more’. We all nodded in unison and knew straight away we’d found our man for Fadden.

“But just to be sure, we sent a camera crew out to cut a demo tape with Commander Cotter and he nailed the lines we gave him (at top) perfectly from the get go. He read them over and over again and didn’t blush once.

“He’ll be going straight onto the Opposition front bench after the election; that’s my best guess.

“He’s going to provide fantastic support for Sussan Ley in Question Time.”

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