The Brisbane Bolts club is leading a charge within the JDG to establish an annual tournament akin to the NRL’s Magic Round just held in Brisbane and the AFL’s new Gather Round staged recently in Adelaide.
The club’s acting chair Sir Prudence Pettle said the popularity of multi-team, multi-game weekend competitions staged by other sporting codes should make the idea irresistible to the JDG board.
“If the JDG board adopts our plan we will insist that the initial three-day tournament be hosted by the Bolts in Brisbane,” Sir Prudence said.
“We will also demand naming rights and we have already settled on calling the big new event the Reacher Round.”
Speaking to media representatives before entering an illegal brothel in a north Brisbane industrial estate, CEO of the Brisbane Bolts, Terry Verandah, said the naming of the proposed new competition would be a fitting tribute to one of the greats of the game, former Brisbane Bolts star lead picket grinder, the late Trevor “Jack” Reacher who was killed in the final seventh of a triple-callback match with the Perth Prostates in March 2002. (main picture)
“None of youse pus-sucking maggots in the media are fit to shit in the same hole as Jack,” a clearly inebriated Verandah said while menacing reporters with a broken beer bottle.
When a reporter suggested in a question that Reacher had been nicknamed after the central character in British author Lee Child’s series of crime thrillers published since the mid-1990s, Verandah was quick to dismiss the notion.
“Listen you vermin-riddled enema dish, you wouldn’t know if you were being rimmed by an anorexic anteater,” he said.
“Our Jack Reacher had nothing to do with anything that might have been scribbled by some Pommy poof.
“Anyone who knows anything about the game knows he was nicknamed for his habit of jacking off on the field during games.
“Of course the wishy-washy, lily-livered, lip-quivering softcocks in the JDG banned the practice by introducing the NSP rule – no self-pleasuring – during play. Talk about a wank!
“As usual the JDG syphilitic eggheads took all the fun out it for Jack, and all because Jack occasionally hit some fans and their kids in the front row seats – and I don’t mean punched.
“Now speaking of shitting in the same hole….,” he snapped before turning and entering the brothel.
Head coach of the Brisbane Bolts, Jack Saunders, said he had always felt that “Jack” Reacher had been treated unfairly by the JDG for his on-field behaviour.
“It was just a bit of hi-jinks – just some good-natured horseplay,” Saunders said.
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