CELESTIAL COMMUNICATION:
The late Father Bob Maguire says he has “searched high and low” but can’t find a trace of the late Cardinal George Pell in heaven.
“George isn’t here,” Fr Bob said in a celestial communication to former parishioners and followers and supporters of his community work here on Earth. (main picture)
“I’ve only been here for a week so I’ve been spending most of my time settling in and getting to know the place and the literally billions of heavenly souls I’m sharing the place with.
“But yesterday and today I decided to go all out to find Cardinal Pell just for a catch-up now that we’ve both slipped our mortal bonds.
“I wanted to make sure we would have a better relationship here in heaven for eternity than we ever for the relatively short time we both spent on Earth.”
But, the late Catholic priest who gained notoriety during his life for his political activism and outreach work helping the disadvantaged and marginalised in Melbourne and elsewhere, said his search proved fruitless.
“I searched high and low and couldn’t find him anywhere. I even returned to the Pearly Gates and waited for a chance to ask Saint Peter if he had seen George around.
“In between admitting new arrivals, Saint Peter told me he couldn’t recall anyone called George Pell getting through the gates.
“He even checked his big book and couldn’t find anyone listed under George’s name.
“Saint Peter suggested I check out the cafeteria to see if he was in there. But that proved fruitless.
“And I couldn’t see neither hide nor hair of him over at the playground where all the orphaned kids tend to congregate.
“The only conclusion I can reach is that George isn’t here. Maybe he’s been stuck somehow in transit. But I’ll keep asking around and if I find him, I’ll let everyone know,” Fr Bob said.
“But if you’ll excuse me now, I’ve got to rush. I don’t want to miss Barry’s first big show. It’s a sellout.”
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
The Bug Online 