The federal Liberal Party has struck a deal with US high-tech billionaire Elon Musk to send Opposition Leader Peter Dutton into space to hunt down new voters following a string of federal and state election defeats.
“This visionary project is part of my plans to take the Liberal Party further to the right on the political spectrum,” Mr Dutton (main picture) explained at a news conference while standing in the shadow of a giant Starship rocket at Mr Musk’s Space-X launch pad in Texas.
“Following the rapid unscheduled disassembly of our vote in former Liberal heartland seats I soon realised that the best way to respond to losing votes because we are seen as being too right-wing is to go further to the right.
“The territory I seek to colonise is far, far away in the as-yet uncharted regions of the extreme right of the political galaxy.
“It’s probably so far to the right that we may need to enlist NASA’s Webb space telescope to get a good look at the potential voters there.
“But I am convinced there are thousands of voters, perhaps tens or hundreds of thousands, or maybe millions that we can enlist as Liberal supporters to replace the more moderate ones living closer to planet Earth that we’ve lost in recent times.
“Elon Musk seemed to me to be the logical choice to help track down such voters. He’s very familiar with right-wing politics and he has the necessary rockets and other equipment that suit my mission.”
Mr Dutton said he planned to prove his critics wrong – rejecting suggestions that the Liberal Party should focus on regaining moderate conservatives and those in the centre of the political spectrum.
“There are plenty of people saying that shifting the Liberal Party further to the right is a suicide mission,” he said as an announcement from mission control asked all non-essential personnel to clear the Space-X Starship rocket launch site immediately – preferably by 10 kilometres at least.
“If you’ll excuse me, I am just going outside and may be some time,” Mr Dutton said as he headed to the launch pad.
Entranced/bewildered/appalled by this latest offering from Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site and would like to be entranced/bewildered/appalled over and over again? Then simply click on the link below to follow us and be emailed new blogs the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
The Bug Online 