Punchy slogan revealed for Voice campaign

THE VOICE REFERENDUM:

Australia’s One Nations people have released the slogan they will be using to campaign for a No vote in The Voice to Parliament referendum later this year.

“The darkies are getting something not being offered to us whities” was proudly revealed this morning by the nation’s white indigenous leader Aunty Pauline (above) at a media call in a park in Ipswich in south-east Queensland.

“It’s just not fair, is it?” Aunty Pauline said in that wavering voice and using the fractured syntax and a liberal sprinkling of wrong words that so endear her to her followers who think she’s just a little Aussie battler punching way above her weight.

“There’s not a racist bone in my body but where’s the Voice to Parliament for white indigenous people, eh?”

Aunty Pauline is the proud leader of the fishandchippery and mulletandlargechips tribes that first settled in the Ipswich area back in the dreamtime. Her peoples have since expanded over time to inhabit the nearby Lockyer Valley. She is also a Queensland Senator who successfully passed a Senate motion, albeit only briefly, that white lives mattered too.

“There’s not a racist bone in my body but, goodness me, my peoples simply shudder whenever they hear our black indigenous cousins banging on about how Australia always was and always will be their land.

“Well, there’s not a racist bone in my body but if those coo … those coloured people … think they own the place now they’ve got another thing coming,” Aunty Pauline said to the cheers of a handful of supporters.

“They had it for 6000 (sic) years and did bugger all with it and now both the white and black indigenous peoples own this country together!” she thundered.

“This referendum idea is racism, pure and simple, and as a proud white indigenous person with not a racist bone in her body I will not have a bar of it!”

Aunty Pauline then broke into her own fractured, clumsy rendition of I Am Australian written by Bruce Woodley of The Seekers and Dobe Newton of the Bushwackers.


We are one
But we are many
And from all the lands on earth we come
We’ll share a dream
And sing with one voice
I am, you are, we are Australian

Aunty Pauline wiped a tear from her face and continued: “See what I mean? Are we singing here with one voice?

“No! There’ll be a voice for the coo… the colou… the First Nations people but where’s our white indigenous voice? We. Deserve. To. Be. Heard!”

Realising she had her little band of supporters feeding out of her hand, Australia’s best retail politician resumed singing I Am Australian again, albeit especially selected verses.

It was an atrocious effort, to be fair, but yet sung with heart, all cunningly designed to endear Aunty Pauline to her followers who think she’s just a little Aussie battler punching way above her weight and who are too fucking stupid themselves to realise she’s the very worst of predator parasites, sucking on their support for her own very dumb, very racist, yet rat-cunning-clever, self-serving ends.

The one thing both Aunty Pauline and her One Nation tribe do have in common is that they are either too fucking stupid as a moronic collective to even comprehend the enormous injustices meted out to Australia’s First Nations people since British colonisation/invasion and the shamefully wide gap that still exists on life expectancy, health and other basic life markers between them and other Australians … or – even worse – they are aware of all that but couldn’t give a flying fuck any way, not that there’s a racist bone in any of their bodies.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com