THE FOURTH ESTATE:
Expert cross-media communicator Parnell Palme McGuinness will from now on be compiling a full-page column each and every day – Monday to Saturday – in The Sydney Morning Herald and at least one in its sister masthead, The Sun-Herald as well.
Peter Costello, chairman of Nine Entertainment Co., announced this decision and McGuinness’s promotion this morning after being “gob-smacked by the brilliance of her contribution to our Sunday edition”.
“I could see no other course of action after being swept away by her cold, analytical, dissection of the real benefits that the resignation of shadow minister Julian Leeser would bring to the Liberal Party in general and Peter Dutton’s leadership in particular,” Costello told The Bug.
“While a sizeable increase in remuneration will obviously come with her increased workload, we are not anticipating a rise in the cover price of these mastheads just yet.
“We just hope she’ll still have time to do her excellent work as managing director strategy and policy at strategic communications firm Agenda C.”
The former Australian Treasurer, the world’s best at one stage, admitted he had held some fears that the Liberals were being split asunder by Dutton’s decision to lock the shadow ministry behind a No-vote campaign, a move that forced Leeser’s departure from the Opposition front bench and prompted former Aboriginal Affairs Minister Ken Wyatt to quit the party completely.
“But then I read Parnell’s piece and realised, as she has so brilliantly deduced through a series of logical and connected conclusions driven by the purest stream of logical thought, that the entire mainstream media has misjudged the impact of Leeser’s resignation. I think she’s right there too because I have personally witnessed the decline of that media since the retirement of Chris Uhlmann, someone who practiced his craft with total balance and fairness and with a rigid professionalism driven by our craft’s stringent code of ethics and practice.
“But I digress. With Parnell’s amazing insights, I now know that all Leeser was doing was providing the catalyst to ensure the parliamentary committee framing the Voice’s final wording did its job properly with time quickly running out. As Parnell has pointed out, Leeser knew he had to act with the utmost urgency.
“And that Peter, buoyed by Julian’s selfless sacrifice, would continue to bring the party together as only a true leader can.
“Parnell didn’t quite spell out this process but I’m guessing Peter somehow changes the minds of the vast majority of his fellow MPs keen to appeal to Australia’s racist underbody with a covert “the darkies are getting something that’s not being offered to us whities” message and comes through this process looking and sounding like Australia’s next prime minister after the 2025 election which, of course, he should be.
“God knows we all need politicians of the calibre of Peter who puts the nation’s interests before cheap politicking as Anthony Albanese and Labor have adopted on this issue. Sadly, it’s always the cheap shot and wedge politics in play with the ALP.
“But most of all, I was brought to tears by Parnell’s conclusion that Julian’s decision to quit as shadow attorney general and aboriginal affairs spokesperson would put the Liberal Party back in its strongest territory: examining ideas rationally and on merit.
“What an excellent, indepth and surgically precise examination of the state of play of modern Australian politics!” Costello added, his voice wavering. “I truly know of no other current political commentator who could have come up with something that …. profound!
“Parnell has brilliantly encapsulated how the Abbott, Turnbull and Morrison governments tackled each and every issue that came before them in their near-decade in power, examining ideas rationally and on merit. No wonder those LNP governments never saw a national integrity commission as a priority.
“It’s still a complete mystery to both Parnell and me how the Australian people could have misread the LNP’s ironclad commitment to examining ideas rationally and on merit during those three terms, and why they then unfairly turned their backs on the Morrison government at the election in May last year, voting out the only side of Australian politics that has ever provided good strong stable government and unparalleled, unsurpassed, economic management.
“Parnell and I have always agreed on that last point. It’s irrefutable!”
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