Lord Downer in mourning

Lord Downer of Adelaide Hills has added his voice to those mourning British fashion designer Dame Mary Quant.

Dame Mary, the woman reputed to have invented the mini-skirt in the 1960s, died last week aged 93.

His Lordship called media representatives to his family seat Pout House where he appeared in formal mourning attire which he was quick to point out was not a Quant design. (below)

He began by summoning six strapping young footmen wearing only see-through swimming costumes and directing them to distribute a photo of himself as a much younger man. (main picture)

“The photo you have been handed is of me taken in London in the so-called Swinging ’60s,” he explained.

“At the time it was taken I was living in Mother England with my family as my dear papa Sir Alick Downer  – or Sir Alexander to riff-raff such as yourself – was, as usual, serving and building our nation, this time as High Commissioner to the United Kingdom.

 “At that time, I was just a young whippersnapper and my dear papa and mamma sent me to Radley College in Oxfordshire, a public school – that’s a private school to riff raff such as yourself – as a boarder.

“But living in the UK in the 1960s meant being exposed to many new and exciting fashion trends including the designs made popular by Mary Quant.

“I must say that I was an early adopter of the mini-skirt which certainly made me stand out among the other chaps at school.

“Admittedly not all of my Radley chums shared my love of cutting-edge fashion. In fact several times when I appeared in one of my Mary Quant creations many of the chaps – mainly those coming from deliberately poor families – took it upon themselves to strip me of my attire completely and … and ….”

At that point Lord Downer fell into a deep swoon and slid sideways, nearly tumbling from his chair and saved only by being grasped in the arms of one of the semi-clad footmen and carried to his bedchamber.

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