EUROVISION SONG CONTEST:

A Brisbane composer says Australia will never win the Eurosvision song contest if it keeps picking “safe and boring” artists to represent it.

Vince Agarol (pictured below) said the choice of WA-based synth-metal group Voyager as Australia’s entrant for the 2023 competition to be staged in Liverpool in the UK in May was destined to end in failure.

For the past eight years, since Australia began competing in the global song contest, Mr Agarol has used the Eurovision selection process to publicise his as-yet-unproduced stage musical based on the story of Brisbane’s notorious “Poo Jogger” who was caught in 2018 after repeatedly defecating on inner-southside household driveways.

“In 2023 it seems that yet again my song doesn’t seemed to have been considered whatsoever as Australia’s entrant,” Mr Agarol said.

“It is very disappointing because I really went all out this year. I specifically didn’t submit a song from my Poo Jogger the Musical repertoire.

“I went in an entirely different direction. I have previously been very interested in the traditional techniques of throat singers.

“People in Mongolia, the Inuit people of the Arctic Circle in North America, and the Xhosa  of southern Africa are exponents of the technique that results in unique gutteral sounds.

“I wanted to do something similar but more in line with my usual work so I literally flipped the idea on its head and came up with a modified version of throat singing which I call coit singing.

“I have had some of my soloists from my Poo Jogger musical practising the technique I developed, and I must say that not all attempts were successful. (main picture)

“But I figure that Eurovision is always full of shit songs sung shittily by shit singers so why would one doing it for real not be considered as having a good chance of winning?

“It’s just blatant and senseless discrimination. It’s as if Australia just doesn’t want to win Eurovision. It gives me the shits, it really does. Literally,” Mr Agarol said.