The key to never getting too upset about anything you hear or see on Sky News Australia is to always remember that it is not a news service and the talking heads who appear on it are not journalists.

And we at the Media Glass House know this why? Because Rupert Murdoch has openly admitted his media organisations are not news platforms. They are views platforms whose aim is to turn a profit by appealing to their target audience – right-wing nutters, conspiracy theorists, anti-woke warriors and other cookers.

And the non-journalist bit? Well, you only have to listen to them to know it is silly to get upset with anything they say; they can’t be a blight on the fine craft of journalism because they wouldn’t know journalism ethics and practice if it bit them on their overpaid, talentless, arses.

With all that in mind, we say hello to sitdown comics Kieran Gilbert and Andrew Clennell, who regaled us on the platform’s Sunday Agenda last weekend as they explained why NSW premier Dominic Perrottet was on course to win the 25 March state election.

We’ve put clowns outfits on them because we think that’s the kindest interpretation we could put on their routine.

We’d much prefer to think they’re having a laugh with us and why? The alternative is almost too cruel to contemplate: that they actually believe the things they say! Surely not!

Let’s dissect their performance, based on their throughline that polls show the Coalition “on a winner” in the upcoming state poll.

Firstly there are clearly no polls. Clennell refers to one internal Liberal Party poll that shows “as long as the Coalition talk on the economy their polling shows them they’re on a winner”. That’s sad enough, isn’t it? That Liberals – and no doubt Gilbert and Clennell as well – still believe a majority of Australians think the Libs are better economic managers. That shit sailed quite some time ago.

Clennell helpfully rattles off three seats that Labor could win but then declares: “Labor are still short of the eight or nine they need to get a majority” according to that internal polling.

Gilbert and Clennell totally ignore mainstream polls that show Labor in the box seat for victory in March. They ignore all the online betting platforms that have virtually written the LNP off before the starter’s gun has even been fired on the campaign proper.

They are doing what they are paid to do as LNP propagandists: push polling the LNP and overegging and most likely misinterpreting internal Liberal polling.

Okay! okay! We appreciate a week is a long time in politics and Gilbert and Clennell haven’t been proved wrong… yet. We’ve still got four-and-a-half weeks to go.

But Herr Perrottet has been having some shocking days of late and the MGH will be gobsmacked if real polls in the weeks ahead show Perrottet narrowing the gap to any significant amount.

What is not at dispute is that Sunday Agenda last weekend was largely an LNP public relations exercise and Gilbert and Clennell are indeed very funny clowns. As stated above, that’s the nicest interpretation we can put on their performance.

The alternative really doesn’t bear thinking about. That somehow it’s more than just their paypackets talking and they actually believe this shit.

POSTSCRIPT: As of Wednesday morning, the six online gambling platforms The Bug is monitoring have Labor on an average of just over $1.14 to win the NSW poll and the LNP on a smidge over $5.29. We urge Gilbert and Clennell to get some of their hard-earned on Herr Perrottet! Ladbrokes, TAB, Neds and Bet365 are best; they all have the LNP on $5.50. Come on boys! You know you want to put your money where your mouth is and clean up big time! That’s great odds in a two-horse race!