NSW voters will swing solidly behind Premier Dominic Perrottet once they fully understand the reasons why he is proudly standing by an Upper House colleague wrongly accused of “revenge porn”.

This is the opinion of respected scribe, Simon Benson, charged with ensuring all mainstream media outlets operating in NSW work as one to see the return of Perrottet’s LNP state government.

Benson, (below), columnist for The Australian, was recently appointed to chair the steering committee advising the state’s major MSM platforms on how best to see the Perrottet government returned for a well-deserved fourth term.

“I’ve seen some rubbish spread by the woke, left-wing media in my time but this nonsense that somehow Peter Poulos in the NSW Upper House has somehow committed a crime and should resign for sharing beautiful photos of a colleague is just arrant nonsense.

“I’ve seen the photos and they are lovely. Great set of tits by the way. And I’m sure that the Liberal MP who willingly posed for those Penthouse photos thinks they are too, now that she’s a bit further along life’s journey and things are getting just a little bit saggy and in desperate need of a nip and tuck.

“We’re not talking black-label Penthouse here. Pornography by its very definition is explicit imagery showing sexual activity. Bare ta-tas are not pornography, unless they’re being tit-fucked, of course. Bare female arses are not pornography. The hairy, non-piss-flap, bits of a woman’s minge are not pornography. If they were, the world’s most famous art galleries are all disgusting porn palaces!

“Let’s get a grip on reality here, folks. There’s no pink bits, no open, wet, split beaver in the photos I’ve seen.

“And anyone expecting some very well lit, closeup cock-on-cunt action as I was will be very disappointed. There’s no turtle head pushing its way through the jade gates. No dining at the Y. No yodelling up the Valley. No-one’s enjoying a sandwich. There’s no tan track being explored. No turbo-charged, throbbing, purple-veined rodster hurtling down the carnal highway of life. Nothing like that.

“Just like the collage of famous nudes in art history (at top) that I’ve copied from my coffee-table art books at home are not pornographic, neither are the photos shared by Peter Poulos. I repeat: even the artwork by William Etty (top right) showing the map of Tassie is not pornographic. Pubic hair is not the bearded clam! How many times do I have to stress this!

“The images I’ve seen are ones that my dear, departed, grannie would have been proud to have posed for in her pulchritudinous prime. They are images any proud father of a late-teenage girl would happily carry in his wallet.

“They are so, so, harmless, and to try to drag down a decent, Christian man such as Dominic Perrottet and one of his hard-working members with this ‘porno revenge’ nonsense takes the cake, it really does!

“Sometimes, the way the left-wing media carry on makes me ashamed to be a journalist.”

Mr Benson said he expected all the mainstream media to launch spirited defences of the Premier as a decent, devout Catholic who stands by a colleague wrongly accused of disgusting, anti-social behaviour.

“Dom is a man of principle. He won’t throw a mate under a bus in a desperate search for cheap votes.

“He needs to know that the MSM throughout NSW has his back. I know for a fact that although he’s based in Melbourne, the Herald Sun‘s James Campbell has these photos in hand and is whipping himself up into a frenzy of white-hot indignation at this very moment and will be filing a two-page spread in tomorrow’s Daily Telegraph defending both politicians over this shocking beatup!”