James Morrow, one of the LNP’s most respected and well-known publicists, has taken out The Bug’s Media Glass House Arselicker-of-the-Month award for January.

Morrow, who writes promotional and ultra-conservative copy for The Daily Telegraph, a subsidiary of News Corp Australia, the LNP’s chief public relations outfit, claimed the coveted crown for his piece (above) railing against Prime Minister Anthony Albanese for being photographed having a beer at the Australian Open tennis.

A close runner-up in tight Arselicker-of-the-Month contests over the years, Morrow is also the proud recipient of The Bug’s Australian of the Year for 2021 (left) for his services to political fiction writing.

One of the ArseLicker judges told us: “We were simply astounded to hear reliable reports that James didn’t blush once while writing that piece for approval by more senior propagandists in his creative agency.

“It’s truly breathtaking in its hypocrisy and its audacity of purpose.

“Morrow is just one of hundreds of copywriters within the umbrella organisation that is News Corp Australia who honoured former PM Scott Morrison before and during his four years as Prime Minister with countless, positive, images of him chugging beer at bars and clubs and sports events, here, there and everywhere, as they proudly presented him as the sports-loving, daggy-dad-next-door sort of guy that you could trust with the travel money for your son or daughter’s next team away trip.

“Images like these.

“What a guy! But no such favours or fair treatment are to be extended to Albanese and fair enough, too, when Morrow and so many others are charged with no greater task than to drag the Labor government and its leader down at every single possibility in their various creative agencies.

The judges all agreed that Morrow’s article was the perfect companion piece to Warren Mundine spewing forth on 2GB, a rival agency seeking LNP work and approval, on the poor performance of the piss-pot PM.

Three days at the tennis drinking grog! That’s some bender. Surprised each night Albanese wasn’t carried out unconscious on a stretcher!

Let’s just hope Albanese didn’t end up pissing his pants in his drunken stupor on each of those three days and nights at the tennis, because, sure enough, someone would have captured the image for propaganda purposes if not posterity.

Finally, the judges could not decide just whose anal passage James Morrow was giving a coit-royal cleansing to with his excellent copywriting effort.

All those above him in The Daily Telegraph creative suite? The powers-that-be at the very top of the News Corp Australia LNP PR agency?

Or even the great man himself in New York? But does a 91-year-old man still need a sphincter cleansed within a wrinkle of its life? Indeed, is he still shitting at 91? Does he need any tongue-in- groove treatment, regardless of the quality of the service, and we’re not just talking lips, from experts such as James Morrow?