Our irregular column that takes a plunge into the murky waters of the mainstream mediocre and looks at the little fishy mistakes that may not yank the line but hint at bigger problems in the craft’s diluted and polluted pond.

Oooh, waah! What was Madeline Morris thinking on ABC News Breakfast the other morning?

Reporter Charles Brice in a report from Adelaide about some boring road bike race said the riders that day would face a “war of nutrition”.

The bitter old hacks that compile Mediocre Bytes and its parent Media Glass House had a little chuckle over the harmless slip of the tongue – it was certainly nowhere near the “suppository of all wisdom” level – and were absolutely dumbfounded about what happened next.

Standin co-presenter Morris actually MENTIONED the slip of the tongue ON AIR and explained that Brice meant to say “war of attrition”.

Can we please explain why Madeline Morris may still be in the ABC’s naughty corner?

Simply put, electronic mediocre journalism is a totally different kettle of fish to newspaper journalism.

One of The Bug‘s senior compilers spend his entire career in print journalism and was never praised once, although of course there might have been good reason for that.

In a print newsroom, grey-haired scribes have been known to fall off their chairs if finally handed some praise for their work. On a TV news set, it’s never ending! Fulsome praise is all pervasive.

The on-camera presenters gush over field reports; co-anchors laud each other’s work when they conduct interviews themselves. Praise is all around; any criticism is taboo.

They are, after all, entertainers as much as journalists, forever trying to show their expertise and prove in their endless banter, punnery and life reflections how witty and charming and deserving of ratings they are.

All of this means that shows like ABC News Breakfast inevitably move up the Today/Sunrise sphincter scale of self-confidence and hubris in their own star quality that they eventually disappear up their own arseholes. News Breakfast is about half-way there.

Sorry! Back to our main theme. Dobbing in a work colleague ON AIR for a simple misspeak is SIMPLY NOT ON!

We trust Madeline Morris fully appreciates this once Ita releases her from that well-deserved naughty corner.

If and when she gets back into the co-anchor’s chair, please Mads, just remember everything is grand and dandy. Every pitch is perfect; every pun a sheer delight. Every Lisa Millar reflection is worth a thigh-slap. Every Tony Armstrong self-deprecation deserves a lengthy burst of barely controllable laugher.

Please repeat over and over again for your own good! Mistakes may very, very, occasionally be made – once in a blue moon, surely – but must never be mentioned!

***

Things must be crook at Sky News if the hectares of free ad space being given to the pay TV service in News Crap Australia newspapers is anything to go by.

Ads have been popping up quite regularly with the slogan “Free thinking” adorning snaps of what at first glance appears to be Mount Rushmore, but turns out to be mainly the “personalities” comprising Sky’s “after dark” far right-wing rant squad. (below)

Should the ACCC take action on the ads? We think there could well be a case given there is nothing “free” about a subscription TV channel and we can’t detect too much actual thinking going on at Sky once the sun sets.

By the way, The Bug’s skeleton staff on Sunday had fuck all to do and came up with its own meme on that theme!

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We turn now to whatever alleged training is still carried on for alleged cadets.

The modern scribe – and sadly not just those in training – seems to think that “alleged” is mandatory in just about every sentence written or spoken at a crime scene or in front of a courthouse.

One of the Heralds at the weekend had someone charged with an alleged crime. Guys and gals, the charges aren’t alleged! People are charged with murder. They’re charged with assault. They’re charged with sexual offences. With robbery. With traffic offences.

We at Mediocre Bytes began applauding the tyro in the Brisbane TV news room who rightly said to camera on Sunday night that a youth had been charged with murder.

We stopped applauding when she said a middle-aged man had been allegedly stabbed to death.

We think that what with everything the police had to say and the fact that the footpath in suburban Windsor looked like the late-afternoon killing floor at a regional abattoir she possibly could have left “allegedly” out there. Picky, picky?

She did use “allegedly” elsewhere properly so good for her!