AUSTRALIAN AVIATION:

An incident at Brisbane Airport yesterday involving a Jetstar aircraft has prompted urgent and radical remedial action by the Qantas low-fare subsidiary.

Jetstar spokesperson, Magda Howwasitoknow, said one of its aircraft safely returned to land at Brisbane Airport yesterday afternoon just minutes after it had taken off for Melbourne.

“We are still trying to determine how and why a Jetstar aircraft actually took off on a scheduled service,” Ms Howwasitoknow said.

“It’s something that almost never happens. But luckily there was an experienced Jetstar crew in charge of the plane.

“They knew something was wrong when they looked out of the cockpit windows and saw that houses, cars, and people on the ground started to look a lot smaller.

“They immediately put into action Jetstar’s emergency plan for accidental take-offs and returned to the ground with everyone on board safe.”

Ms Howwasitoknow said to ensure a repeat of the incident never occurred the airline would be removing all landing gear from its aircraft fleet and instead sitting them on brick columns, while all jet engines would be replaced by empty water tanks. (main picture)

“We need to strictly adhere to the Jetstar business model – giving the appearance of running an airline while focussing on our core business of cancelling flights,” she explained.

When asked if Jetstar would be apologising to the passengers who may have been affected by yesterday’s incident Ms Howwasitoknow said she was more than happy to provide a simple one word response.

“Pfffft,” she said.