BEIJING: Penny Wong has stamped herself as arguably Australia’s greatest ever foreign minister after securing the release of two Australians held captive in China and extracting that country’s commitment to immediately lift crippling and unfair tariffs on Aussie barley, meat, wine, some seafoods and other primary products.

And all this success from just 90-minutes of talks with her Chinese counterpart has come “with very limited give on Australia’s part”, according to sources within the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade.

Wong’s brilliant achievement also garnered praise from one of Australia’s finest diplomats ever, former Prime Minister and soon-to-be Ambassador to the United States Kevin Rudd.

Mr Rudd explained there were four main reasons behind Wong’s success and he listed all three alphabetically, using bullet points as sub-texts under each.

All that remains to be done now is a simple formal ceremony in Canberra later today where Australia will hand over to China, through its ambassador to Australia, the title deeds to Tasmania.

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MELBOURNE: Commercial radio shockjock Neil Mitchell is understood to have said that Kevin Rudd’s time as Australia’s ambassador to the United States “will end in tears”.

The uncertainty of what he actually said results from his voice still being rather muffled by all the egg smeared all over his face following the outcome of the Victorian state election.

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SYDNEY: Two of Nine Entertainment Co’s finest politics reporters have issued a joint statement saying they are honoured to have been nominated for The Bug‘s Media Glass House Arse-Licker for December award.

Herald masthead scribes James Massola and Eryk Bagshaw said they were “thrilled to bits” over their nomination for arguing that incoming Australian ambassador to the United States Kevin Rudd is going to face enormous problems in Washington because of his much-publicised criticisms of Rupert Murdoch and Donald Trump.

“We have not made space on our mantelpieces just yet,” the scribes said.

“We understand The Bug‘s judges are going to have enormous trouble trying to work out just whose rings – indeed, how many – we’re giving a damn-fine tongue-cleaning to by those observations.”