The Victorian Liberal Party’s advertising agency, the News Crap Australia daily turdbloid  the Herald Sun, has this morning laid out its excuse for failing to have its client elected at today’s state election.

And what a doozey of an excuse it is too. Our Media Glass House research teams take their collective hats off to those who engineered it.

They believe there should be some type of Walkley Award for the type of creative writing evident in today’s edition of a news outlet that has shown blatant and unrelenting bias against Labor and the government of Premier Dan Andrews.

Apparently the Herald Sun believes that the Libs under Matthew Guy would have won today’s election if only they had more time. (main picture)

It’s a cracker of a theory isn’t it? But, we hear you ask, just how much more time would they need?

A few days? Another week or two? Or perhaps a whole extra four fucking years?

The Herald Sun’s story suggests that we’d all be talking about Premier Guy if only the election had been held in early 2023.

Try 2123 and we might agree.

***

The MGH has simply loved the smell of desperation in the morning as even in the last minutes of the election campaign the Herald Sun and others in the mainstream mediocre have tried their very worst to bring down the Daniel Andrews and his Labor government.

In its own form of push-polling, the MSM almost to a reporter/commentator and across all media platforms has been screaming “the polls are tightening” as they seek that “level playing field” that everyone craves – you know the one: where the LNP has a slight chance of winning.

But were there to be an award for pushpolling, Seven’s Sunrise program the other morning and the Herald Sun, and other anti-Labor Murdoch-owned outlets like Sky News would share the win equally with their breathless announcements (below) that a new poll had shown Premier Andrews was in danger of losing his own seat!

WHAT! But, yes, it’s true. Exit polls at prepoll booths show an independent standing in the seat of Mulgrave is leading Andrews and looks set to win the seat.

And who ran the exit poll? The independent standing in the seat of Mulgrave. With the input of some 100 plus voters.

The MGH has this special offer to anyone at the Herald Sun or Seven’s Sunrise who thinks Andrews will be turfed out of Mulgrave tonight!

Have we got a bridge to sell to you? Imagine the crowds who’ll want to turn up to see The Sydney Harbour Bridge in your very own backyard!

Bugger it! We’ll throw in London’s Tower Bridge and the Brooklyn Bridge in the Big Apple for free!

***

To give some idea of the validity of the “exit poll” and related story, even the rabidly anti-Labor, anti-Andrews Herald Sun drew the line at bestowing on it the label “poll”.

In its story, the Murdoch Melbourne turdbloid referenced it as a “snapshot” of voters by one independent candidate at the only pre-poll centre in the Premier’s seat.

Little information was offered about how the “snapshot”/”exit poll” involving 159 voters had been undertaken.

Our MGH researchers suggest it may have involved the independent candidate’s supporters at the pre-poll centre asking those who had voted for their candidate if they had voted for their candidate.

Our researchers think the 159 figure may well end up being close to the primary votes figure posted for the candidate come tonight’s counting.

***

In any case a more reliable and scientific assessment of voting intentions, today’s Newspoll in the Murdoch national broadshit The Australian gives the election to Andrews and Labor. (below)

Of course our MGH teams remind us of what we all know: there’s only one poll that counts. Add to that the hit and miss nature of some polling in some major elections in recent years both here and overseas and you can understand why our researchers suggest we all keep calm and carry on with our lives until the votes are in and counted.

***

Perhaps having an inkling of the Newspoll findings helped set the timing for the publications of The Australian’s traditional pro-Liberal editorial in its Friday edition. (below)

Naturally it was the usual pro-Liberal Party template Murdoch media outlets use at every  state or federal election no matter how incompetent, useless, unimaginative, shambolic, and unelectable the Libs may be in any jurisdiction.