VICTORIAN STATE ELECTION:

A cruel practical joke by artists at the Herald Sun building in Melbourne has left the paper’s editor in a critical condition in hospital intensive care (below right).

The Bug understands Sam Weir is still comatosed in a Royal Melbourne Hospital ward, muttering under his breath over and over again: “Rupert’s going to have my balls over this”.

On the condition of anonymity, one of the paper’s senior graphic artists told The Bug what happened.

“We knew the editor always poked his head through the artists department doorway around 7.30pm to see how the paper’s splash was coming together.

“So we turned our biggest monitor towards that door showing the page one we were working on (at top). It was totally fake of course and we thought he’d get a big laugh out of it.

“Instead, he threw his hands in the air, screamed ‘No!’ at the top of his lungs and before we could set him straight, he fainted dead away and collapsed heavily on the floor.

“Are we sorry for the distress we’ve caused? Of course we are.

“We totally misjudged his reaction and never expected the shock he suffered when he didn’t see the splash we were actually putting together on his instructions, claiming the Premier knew his wife was drunk in that car accident a few years back.

“It’s a great yarn. We’ve found a Liberal Party member who wasn’t at the accident scene who clearly recalled Andrews admitting to her that his wife was as pissed as a parrot and that he could hardly stand up himself he was so full to the gills after a long lunch.

“What a cunt act to make your missus drive that day. He clearly doesn’t deserve to be returned on Saturday and we all know the editor will make a swift recovery when he sees our real front page as it appeared this morning which we are confident will turn the election the LNP’s way.

“If he wakes up, that is.”



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