VICTORIAN STATE ELECTION:

All online betting agencies operating in Australia are poised to close their books on the outcome of the Victorian state election tomorrow week, 26 November.

The Bug understands that the betting firms are as one in their anxiety and eagerness to cease taking bets on the poll. They would happily pay out right now and all they are waiting on is for just one prominent and respected figure in the mainstream media to come out and predict a “blue wave”.

“That will be our signal to pay out immediately on a Daniel Andrews Labor government victory,” a spokesperson for Sportsbet told us.

“Just one “blue wave” prediction from a respected and knowledgeable MSM politics junkie is all we’ll need to react swiftly and positively. Just who it will be is anyone’s guess. Peta Credlin? Vikki Campion? Rachel Baxendale? Neil Mitchell? Andrew Bolt? James Morrow? James Campbell? Janet Albrechtsen? Paul Kelly? Des Houghton? An editorial in The Age, the Herald Sun or The Australian?”

Should Sportsbet, for example, snap shut its book on the election outcome today, some lucky punter with $50,000 to spare and who strikes right now on the current Sportsbet odds (below)is going to pocket a lazy $2500 for doing fuck-all. Talk about fruit for the sideboard!

The Bug knows what Premier Andrews, that great political polariser in the eyes of Michael Rowland, should be doing right now if he had a spare million in his kick. That’s $50,000 profit in a flash! Talk about money for nothing and the kicks to Matthew Guy’s head are free!