Would anyone mind if I gave some advice to Michelle Landry, the LNP member for the federal seat of Capricornia?

No? Thanks. So here goes. Michelle, pet, love, sweetie, darling …. get the fuck out of Canberra, fuck off back to central Queensland, get the fuck out of politics and – probably most important of all – stop fucking being an embarrassment to 21stCentury girls and women!

I really do hope she takes this advice reluctantly offered after watching and rewatching the two minute, 13 second clip of her question to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and his response during Thursday’s QT in the House of Reps.

As many of you Buggers will know, Landry claims she was yelled at and bullied and humiliated by the PM and at least two people on the right of Australian politics – Sussan Ley and David Crowe – both reckon they saw tears on the poor pet’s face as she left the chamber. Were Landry tearful as she left the chamber, she must have stubbed a toe on the way out.

At a media call afterwards with the sour creme de la sour creme of Opposition female pollies at her back in support of the dear, darling, shattered thing, Landry had this to say: “I feel that I’ve been humiliated by him and by the Labor Party, the fact that we’ve been talking today about kindness in the parliament, looking after each other, and all the nice kind words, after he screamed and pointed and yelled at me,” she said.

“And I want to thank my female colleagues here today for supporting me, because we’ve all had enough. Our female MPs and senators are treated like absolute garbage all the time by the Left and we have had enough.

“He had a yell at Peter Dutton but then he was looking at me and screaming at me.

“This is about women across Australia. I have two daughters and if I don’t stand up against this bullying in the Parliament, well, no, they won’t have any respect.”

Like your ranter-in-residence, countless people have scrutinised that QT footage and there is general agreement that Landry is in cuckoo land, or blissfully away with the fairies, or to put it bluntly, out of her gourd and needs specialist help, if she thought Albanese was humiliating or bullying her.

Her media call was a faux outrage collection of lies and humbug; a total distortion of what took place.

Albanese was clearly looking at (or beyond) Opposition Leader Peter Dutton as the PM had much fun with Dutton’s gaffe in mistaking the words “Yeppoon” and “Yeppen (flood plain)”. At that stage, Landry clearly thought the whole thing was a hoot (below).

Albanese’s clinical and knowledgable evisceration of the LNP’s performance in government of getting infrastructure done in Landry’s electorate was clearly directed at Dutton or even Opposition members further to Dutton’s left.

It’s even debatable as to whether Albanese even glanced back at Landry, who seems to be not that distressed well over a minute into the PM’s reply (at top).

But what if Albanese had spent his entire response looking at Landry? She. Was. Not. Bullied. If the PM’s answer humiliated her, so be it. If Albanese’s response was even half right – and he was infrastructure minister in the Rudd/Gillard/Rudd governments – then the poor thing should have been embarrassed at the very least.

With her staged bullshit presser, Landry was telling the women of Australia, present and emerging, that the next time the PM answers a question where she claims he has deliberately broken a “personal promise” over a Rockhampton ring-road project, the PM should avoid engaging in a rigorous exchange with an Opposition Leader who says something really stupid, instead maintaining eye contact with her and speaking nicely, quietly and respectfully as he acknowledges his broken personal promise, keeps his voice down and, forever the real gentleman, keeps an eye on how she’s responding to his answer and then quickly prompts the sergeant at arms to offer her a box of tissues if it becomes clear the answer is not to her liking.

Modern Australian girls growing into adulthood and those already there – including two close to Landry and who have seemingly inspired her stand – should be fucking well ashamed of her view on how a 21st Century woman should be treated in any workplace, let alone the hotbed of politics.

It’s clear Landry can’t stand the heat in the kitchen of politics. She should fuck off back to the Yeppoon/Yeppen region, change her ways and try hard to be a better role model for Aussie womanhood. Take up cooking if she doesn’t find the kitchen in her home too hot.

Stop telling fibs and stop making up bullshit and stop bunging on fake hurt would be a fine start, although that might be difficult after spending nine years as an LNP politician.

Don Gordon-Brown

POSTSCRIPT: Below is just a taste of the countless responses to yesterday’s staged mischief by a group of Opposition pollies desperately seeking relevance after a huge electoral loss.

PPS: When Prue MacSween, a regular contributor to SkyNews, gets stuck into Landry, it really is time for the dear, sweet darling to Fuck. Right. Off. And that goes for all those who stood behind her, the Sisterhood of the Unravelling Policy Pants-down the electorate gave them some months back, forced to resort to shitty, laughable, made-up stunts as they try to regain some relevance and try to stop the Liberal Party of Australia from sliding into oblivion. – DGB